


It is Good in My Lady's House

by runawaynun



Category: The Expanse (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:27:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 22,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23864491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/runawaynun/pseuds/runawaynun
Summary: In order to end the war between Earth and Mars, Earth's Queen must marry Mars' greatest warrior. Afterwards, they must navigate Earth's politics.
Relationships: Chrisjen Avasarala/Bobbie Draper
Comments: 52
Kudos: 103





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to surena_13 for looking this over and for letting me bounce ideas off, helping plot, and assuring me that this is good.

This is the way of the world:

There are two major kingdoms, separated by a large sea. One is the kingdom Earth, with fertile plains, bountiful woodlands, and plentiful fresh water lakes. The other is the kingdom of Mars, mountainous and rough, filled with mineral deposits, gems and precious metals, cut through with rushing rivers. Earth was ruled through a hereditary monarchy, although one family could displace another amassing enough wealth and military power. Mars was ruled by a council of its greatest warriors, with contests every five years to determine who made up the council. 

For some time, the two were able to coexist and trade flourished between the two kingdoms. But envy struck the hearts of men and each coveted what the other kingdom possessed. War began and lasted a generation. Eventually, sick of the stalemate, peace talks occurred. A treaty was signed and a framework created for the ending of this and future conflicts between Earth and Mars. Each kingdom would return to their side of the sea, and sealed peace between the two through the marriage of highest-ranking unmarried woman of Earth’s royal family and Mars’ greatest warrior from the war.

Peace between Earth and Mars lasted several centuries. Gradually, men forgot the horrors of war and envied what the other had and wanted to avenge perceived slights to their honor. This war lasted generations, so long that the current generations did not know why there was a war but only that there must be war to keep their homelands safe.

This was the way of the world until the present Queen of Earth took stock of the state of Earth. In this war, she had lost her father, her husband and her son. She heard reports of crop failure, starvation and disease, of the heavy tax burden causing the furthest provinces from the capital to grumble of rebellion, of mothers hiding their children in order to evade them being pressed into the military, of lands emptied of its young except for those maimed by the war. Her spies reported the same conditions in Mars.

She sued for peace. Because she was a widow, she would be the one to marry Mars’ greatest warrior. Her people were tired and her land needed to heal. She could tolerate being married to some prideful Martian boy if the war would stop.

*

Chrisjen sat in an uncomfortable gown in a room filled with food, drinking wine on the isle of Luna where she waited once again to be married. It already dimmed in comparison to her first marriage. She and Arjun had been a love match, when she was young and full of hope and optimism for the future. This one a political arrangement, to save her people after all idealism had drained out of her and Arjun had died in battle. It was ridiculous, a poet having to be soldier, but that is what the godforsaken war had driven her family to do, had driven all of Earth to do.

She refilled her goblet with wine as heard the clank of Martian armor enter the room. She didn’t turn to face her future husband. She took a swallow and addressed the wall. “Don’t worry. You won’t have to fuck an old woman. I already have an heir.”

She heard the other person clear their throat. “That’s good, your highness. Because I won’t be providing you with any children.”

And for the first time in a long time, Chrisjen was shocked. She turned toward the Martian. “A woman? That’s something I didn’t anticipate.”

The Martian stood at attention, a carefully neutral look on her face. But Chrisjen could discern discomfort and loathing in her eyes. The poor girl was going to marry the enemy of her people and didn’t want to be there any more than Chrisjen herself did. But not being saddled with a fragile male ego for the rest of her days made the whole situation just tiny bit easier. She looked the woman up and down. She was tall and powerfully built and wore Martian ceremonial armor: the helmet, the breastplate, the sword. She took another swallow of wine. “And they say Martians don’t have a sense of humor.”

The Martian clenched her jaw. “I am Mars’ best warrior. I’ve put countless of your warriors in their graves.” She paused. “Ma’am.”

Chrisjen was about to retort when she remembered the whole reason she was undergoing this fucking ridiculous ordeal was peace. “I don’t doubt it.” She poured wine into a second goblet. “Come and sit. Have some wine while we negotiate the rest of our lives.” The Martian sat warily across the table from her. She sniffed the wine, drank some and wrinkled her nose. “Do you not like it? It’s some of Earth’s finest.”

“I’m not used to it. I’m sure I will grow to . . . tolerate it.”

Chrisjen waved at the end of the table. “There’s Martian ale there. You should at least have the comforts of home before I drag you to Earth.” The Martian let relief slip through her expression. She retrieved a bottle and drank. “Now — wait, I don’t even know your name. What is it?”

“Roberta Draper.” 

And Chrisjen did remember her own generals speaking of the Dread Draper, scourge of the East, who had forced Earth to abandon its sole foothold in Mars. She suddenly realized that the woman across from her could kill her without breaking a sweat. “What would you like me to call you?”

“Draper. And how am I to address you?”

Chrisjen jutted her chin out. “I’d prefer if you called me ‘queen’ or ‘your highness.’ But if you must, my family name is Avasarala.”

“Fine, Avasarala,” Draper replied with a sly smile. “I assume ‘no fucking’ will be the first rule of our marriage?”

“The second. The first will be no killing each other.”

“Unlike you Earthers, apparently, I take my vows seriously. When I vow to protect you and not to harm you in the marriage ceremony, I mean it.”

Chrisjen was taken aback by the vehemence in Draper’s voice. And maybe it was foolish of her, but she believed what the Martian was saying. “All right. I want you to be visible. We’ll share at least one meal a day to show we’re at least allies. We’ll find something for you to do so you don’t lose your mind with boredom.”

Draper blinked. “You’re not just going to lock me away somewhere?”

“No. Doing that just makes you a weapon my enemies can use.”

“How generous.”

Chrisjen’s face softened. “I know that you’re sacrificing your home and family and everything that you love in order to spare your people more death and misery. You may never like or feel comfortable in Earth, but I don’t want you to feel like a prisoner. Do you have any ground rules you want?”

“I get to remained armed. Everywhere.”

Chrisjen thought about the reaction of her Council and the Captain of her Guard. Ah, fuck them. “Of course.”

Draper looked shocked, but pressed on. “I get to communicate freely with Martians and my family is able to visit, if they want.”

“I’ll see to it.” She finished the rest of her wine as the bell tolled for the start of the ceremony. 

“That’s it?” Draper asked as she stood.

“For now. Like all marriages, we’ll have to negotiate as we go along.”

“Most marriages don’t have the fate of the world resting upon them.”

Chrisjen stood up as their ceremonial escorts entered the room. “Then we better not fuck up, Draper.” She took a deep breath and blew it out. Time to get married for the second fucking time. She had to admit that things didn’t seem as bleak as before she met Draper. She felt that Draper could be someone she could work with and perhaps, with time, actually enjoy.

*

As Avasarala’s ship sailed away from Luna, Bobbie stared at the blue ring encircling her third finger. She was going to have to talk to Avasarala about it. It prohibited her from properly gripping her sword. Surely there was another way for her display the Queen of Earth’s claim upon her life.

If she was being honest with herself, it was far more than the ring that was bothering her. When Mars had sent her to marry the Earther queen, she knew it was her duty to do so and a good Martian fulfilled her duty. And it wasn’t like Avasarala was cruel to her. In fact, she had almost enjoyed what little time she had spent with her. It was what she was giving up - her family, her home, her autonomy, her command. And although she had never seen herself marrying for love, she had lost the possibility of doing so. Now she was on a ship, sailing away from everything she knew, married to a woman she had been taught to hate.

As the sun began to sink, someone joined Bobbie at the ship’s rail. “Enjoying yourself, Martian?” She looked over. Sadavir Errinwright, one Avasarala’s counselors. She didn’t trust him as far as she could throw him. In fact, she wished she could throw him overboard without causing the crisis this marriage was supposed to stop.

Bobbie returned to watching the sea. “Not anymore.”

“We don’t have to be enemies,” he said.

“Right. This is where you want me to join you in an alliance against the old woman?” Bobbie had hoped not to be drawn into Earth’s political bullshit until she reached its shores.

“It’s not like you love her. And I’m sure you’d be welcomed back to Mars after only a few week’s absence.”

“A few weeks? You are eager.”

He grabbed her arm. “You’d be a fucking hero.”

She turned toward him, furious. “I already am a fucking hero.” She shrugged away from his grip. “And I keep telling you Earthers, when Martians make an oath, we keep them.” She stalked away from him toward Avasarala’s maid who informed her that the evening meal was served. As she followed the girl to the wardroom, she was glad she had promised Avasarala to join her for the meal. Better the devil she knew. 

Although when Avasarala smiled at her when she entered, she had to re-evaluate whether devil was the proper word. Perhaps Avasarala was the only person she felt she could trust in her life anymore. She swallowed hard and shook her head. The woman should would have gladly killed a few months ago was now her only ally. She sat down next to Avasarala, who was wearing a simple blue dress. “I was going to ask you what’s wrong but I see Sadavir came with you.”

Errinwright sat down across from her. Bobbie scooped some rice onto her plate and passed the bowl to Avasarala. “I hope your food taster tried this meal. Or any meal you have with the Martian,” he said pointedly.

Bobbie bristled and Avasarala set her hand on her forearm. “Like I always do when I eat with you.” She cast a look of total contempt at him and waved him away. “Get the fuck out here, Sadavir.” Bobbie couldn’t stifle her chuckle. She didn’t expect the woman she had married for diplomatic reasons to be so undiplomatic.

He glowered. “I’ll leave you alone with your . . . wife, your highness.” He bowed and left.

After he left, Avasarala let out a deep breath and squeezed Bobbie’s arm. Bobbie caught the red glint of her ring that marked Avasarala as Bobbie’s wife. It was plain compared to her other jewel-encrusted rings. “I don’t trust him,” she told Avasarala.

“I really fucking don’t, either.” She let go of Bobbie’s arm and turned toward her meal.

“Then why do you keep him around?”

“It’s easier to keep an eye on him if he’s in the capital. His family has been trying to overthrow mine for years. And I fear that peace may make him bolder.”

“He already approached me about forming an alliance against you.”

“Oh? And what did you say?”

“That Martians are loyal to their oaths. I promised to protect you in our vows. And I will.”

Bobbie could see Avasarala’s face soften and tried to ignore how happy it made her when she got Avasarala’s mask to drop. She reached out and squeezed Bobbie’s arm again before returning to her meal.

She wasn’t even to Earth and already making enemies. But she couldn’t regret them. She would protect the woman who brought peace after generations of war.

*

Despite herself, Chrisjen found herself enjoying her time with Draper. She had a knack of disrupting Chrisjen when her thoughts began to circle. And if she became too self-serious, Draper was there with a sarcastic remark that made Chrisjen laugh and re-evaluate. She found herself looking forward to the evening meal with her and at times, trusting her enough to work through some of the kingdom’s problems with her.

She let Draper explore the capital on her own. She told her that she could travel the entire kingdom by herself if she wanted. Draper declined and busied herself exploring the castle’s gardens and surrounding city and farmland. There were days she tested the capital’s security and would return to dine with lists of things that needed to be improved. Chrisjen received reports that Draper enjoyed riding the horses and working in the stable, that she had picked a hound puppy to train, and had disguised herself to work during the harvest. (Or so she thought. Most everyone in the field knew who the six-foot woman had to be.)

Draper convinced Chrisjen to join her for a walk once a week, when her schedule allowed it. And she found herself making sure that she did have the time free. She enjoyed seeing her kingdom through new eyes and how Draper appreciated things she took for granted. Used to Mars’ pine trees, Draper couldn’t hide her delight when the leaves changed colors in fall. 

Which is why she was surprised when Draper was late to meet her for their walk. “Aditi, do you know where the fuck Draper is?” she asked her maid.

“Mary said she hasn’t left her rooms all day. It’s most unusual.”

“Is she ill?”

“I don’t think so, highness.”

Chrisjen made her way to Draper’s rooms and found her in her bedchamber, seated in a chair still in her bedclothes and staring out a window. “Draper, are you ill?” Chrisjen placed the back of her hand on her forehead. “You don’t feel warm.”

“I’m not.” Draper grabbed Chrisjen’s wrist and pushed it away.

It was then Chrisjen noticed the tear tracks on Draper’s face. “What’s wrong? Did someone hurt you? Did someone upset you?” It was ridiculous, but she had thought nothing could phase this mountain of a woman. But something had and she wanted to put an end to it.

“No, Avasarala. Just leave me alone.”

“I - “

“Get the fuck out,” Draper glared at her and then softened. “Please.”

Chrisjen was torn between worry and fury at being spoken to in that manner. “Fine. But you know where to find me if you need to talk or can behave in a fucking civilized manner.”

Chrisjen shoved the strange interaction to the back of her mind as she continued throughout the day. It was only as Aditi helped her change into her nightgown that she realized how unsettled she became because of a day without Draper. She would have to try to reach out again tomorrow and hopefully fix what was wrong.

She didn’t have to wait, as she caught Draper’s reflection in her mirror as Aditi braided her hair. She smiled. “Are you feeling better?”

Draper nervously shifted in the tunic and leggings she used as sleepwear. “It’s a bad day for me. I wanted to apologize.”

Chrisjen stood and turned to face her, waving away her maid. “Something upset you.”

“Is there somewhere we can talk, privately?”

Chrisjen gestured to the empty rooms.

“Somewhere with fewer trappings of Earth.”

Chrisjen nodded and put on her robe. She gathered two heavy blankets and put them in Draper’s arms. “Follow me.” She led Draper through a narrow hallway and opened a window. There was a secluded roof there with plenty of room for two people. She set down one of the blankets and after she and Draper sat on it, draped the other blanket over the two of them. The air was cold enough to turn their breath to steam and the sky was full of stars and a crescent moon. She remained silent to let Draper speak when she wanted.

Draper looked up at the sky and took a deep breath. “My mother was killed during the attack on the Mariner Valley. Today’s the anniversary of her death. I was ten. She got me to safety but she went back to fight and my father and brothers were deployed elsewhere. I begged her to stay with me but she told me that she had to do her duty for Mars.”

The attack on the Mariner Valley had been a brilliant misdirection tactic. Feint an attack in the opposite direction to pull the bulk of the Martian army away. It had given Earth a foothold in Martian territory and access to a rich vein of iron ore. But it had killed thousands of Martians. And then thousands of Earthers and Martians were killed in Mars retaking the valley. “Dread Draper,” Chrisjen murmured.

“Now you know why. I had to.”

Chrisjen looked at Draper. She was still staring at the stars, jaw clenched. She was so young and yet the war had caused her so much sorrow. She reached out and grasped Draper’s hand under the blanket. “And now you know why I had to marry you. To make sure no more little girls endure what you experienced.”

Draper laced her fingers through Chrisjen’s. “I’ve wondered what my mother would think of you.”

Chrisjen raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“I have no idea. She’s dead.” Draper’s voice broke.

Chrisjen squeezed her hand. “If life transcends death, then I will seek for you there. If not, then there, too.”

Draper looked at her puzzled. “What’s that?”

“It’s something my husband wrote. Before he would have to go to battle, he and I would sit here on this roof. It was the last thing he would say to me before we’d go inside and the last thing he’d say to me before he left the next morning. He died in the battle of Elysium Mons.”

“What would he think of me?”

Chrisjen thought of her husband and an ache filled her soul. He was not made for war but after Charanpal’s death had thrown himself into it. At times, it had felt like a rebuke to her for letting the never-ending war claim their son’s life. “I think he’d be glad I’d married a woman.”

Draper let out a thoughtful noise. The two of them sat on the roof, hand in hand, and watched the stars until the night’s chill drove them inside.

*

As winter fell upon Earth, Bobbie was still uncomfortable in the court of the Earth queen. Everything was too much. There was too much green, too much variety of food and clothing, too much of Earthers. People in the court still stared at her everywhere she went. She didn’t know how much of it was her being a Martian or being the Martian who led attacks that had killed scores of Earthers or whatever lies Errinwright was spreading about her. It was also lonelier than she had expected. She missed the camaraderie of her fellow Martian soldiers. She found it easier to exist outside of the court.

Which is why she was in the stable when Avasarala rode back after settling an interprovincial dispute over borders. Bobbie stayed with her own Martian war horse, the fascination of every stablehand. The Master of the Stables kept trying to convince Bobbie to breed her mare, but she wanted to keep something of hers purely Martian.

As the Queen’s Guard left their horses with the stablehands, Bobbie was surprised when Avasarala led her horse to its stall, talking soothingly to it. Bobbie stroked Big (the soldiers under her command had mocked her horse’s name but she found that Big was easy to shout in the heat of battle in the rare times she needed to regain the horse’s attention with her voice) and fed her a carrot. Avasarala picked up a brush and began tending to her horse while humming.

Bobbie had thought Avasarala would be part of Earth’s too much. The woman had been the Martian key exhibit of Earth’s excess: clothes made of the finest and most expensive fabrics, gems sparkling from her hands, neck and ears, and a foul mouth. But Bobbie had found her to be an island of calm. She was the first to trust Bobbie and the first to see her as human. And beyond that, Bobbie found that she enjoyed her time with Avasarala, even going as far to seek her out. Avasarala started to reciprocate, and even asked her for advice on matters relating to the security of the kingdom.

In her distraction watching Avasarala, Bobbie kicked over a bucket and it clattered around Big’s stall. 

“Who’s there?” Avasarala called out.

Bobbie gave Big soothing strokes as the horse stared at her like she was the biggest idiot. “It’s me, ma’am. Draper.”

Chrisjen pursed her lips and gave her a sour look. “You frightened the hell out of me. If you’re done over there, come here. I have a question.”

Bobbie gave Big another carrot and made her way to Avasarala, who continued to brush her horse. Bobbie admired her sure and firm strokes. Clearly, this was something that she did regularly. This powerful woman personally took care of her own horse. “What’s your question?”

She did not look up at Bobbie. “Do you know how to dance?”

“Of course.”

“Good. I’d like to dance with my wife at the Solstice feast.”

“Are there any Earther variations I need to know about?”

“Just follow my lead, you’ll be fine.”

Bobbie laughed. “Of course. May I ask you a question?”

Avasarala nodded.

“Why don’t you just let a stablehand do this?”

“After dealing with the nobility for several days, I’d rather deal with an actual horse’s ass.” Avasarala then stopped and looked Bobbie straight in the eyes. “It’s important to me that I take care of what I love.”

Bobbie wondered if she was something that Avasarala was starting to love. She shook her head to distract herself from that line of thought. “Would you like some help?”

Avasarala waved Bobbie away. “Go and be free. Gaia and I will be fine, right?” The horse nickered at her.

“I’ll leave you to it, ma’am.”

*

The heat was becoming oppressive in the packed dining hall for the Solstice Feast, Chrisjen thought as she took another swallow out of her goblet of wine. It really was the only time she didn’t feel cold during the winter in the drafty castle. She looked over at Draper and was warmed in a different way. Her gown was velvet the color of the wine with a low neckline. She had caught the Martian staring at her cleavage. Not that Draper was the only one caught staring. The leggings Draper wore flattered her long legs and displayed her muscular thighs.

Chrisjen shook her head. She shouldn’t think like that. It was probably the wine and the feeling of nostalgia she felt every year at this time. It didn’t stop her from leaning over towards Draper and watching her eyes move downward. “Are you enjoying your first Earth solstice?”

“Very much. Although I do miss Martian boar. I guess you Earthers feel it’s too stringy.”

Chrisjen reached out a squeezed Draper’s arm. “I’ll make sure you get some next year. I don’t want to be accused of being a fucking poor host.”

Draper put her other hand over Chrisjen’s own. Chrisjen caught the blue flash of Draper’s wedding ring as it caught the light. “You are many things. But a bad host is not one of them.”

“Tell that to these greedy fucks.” Draper’s mouth opened her mouth into an oh. Chrisjen enjoyed that she still could shock Draper with her language. “With that in mind,” Chrisjen stood up from her fucking ridiculously huge chair in her opinion and clapped. The dining hall soon fell silent. “As we have enjoyed the feast that the bounty of Earth has provided us, let us move to the grand hall for music, conversation and of course, dance.” She gathered up her skirts and left the dais. 

She felt Draper fall in step behind her and tried to ignore the sense of comfort that it brought her. Not only would Draper keep her safe, this year there would be no attempts by the nobility to court the widowed queen. As if she needed some addled partner getting in her way.

Speaking of which, Errinwright slid up to her. She could feel Draper bristle next to her. “Have you heard about the Martians rebuilding their ranks?”

“Of course, Sadavir. Fucking weeks ago. My spies are the best in the world.”

“Are you going to allow that?”

“Mars is doing what we are. Rebuilding after the war.”

“And why should they?” Errinwright grabbed her shoulder. 

She heard Draper start to remove her sword from its scabbard. She looked at Draper and shook her head. She put her sword back. “I assume for the same reasons we are. After heavy taxation and near starvation, the Outer Provinces are restless.” She shrugged Errinwright’s arm off. “If you excuse me, I need to go and make sure the governors of those provinces are happy and loyal.”

She circulated throughout the hall and placated the egos of the nobility. Her face hurt from her fake smile. The problem with an all-consuming war across generations was at the end, you were left with very few good people but rather the venial, whose sole consideration was their own survival. 

Finally, she completed her circuit. She rubbed her face and wanted nothing more than her bed. Until Draper leaned down and whispered into her ear. “I was promised a dance with my wife.”

Chrisjen smiled, perhaps her first real smile of the night. “Of course.” She took Draper’s hands in her own and pulled her toward the center of the dance floor. She nodded to the Master of Music, who began the music for her favorite dance step. She lost herself into the rhythms and steps. Draper was able to keep up, settling in with ease once she gained familiarity with the pattern. She had missed dancing. She had refused any partner since Arjun died. She and Draper glided across the room with the other couples, separating and coming together. In the final movement of the dance, Draper lifted her up, hands on her waist, and they turned before Draper set her down. She relished how easily the other woman picked her up and moved her. On the fourth and final turn, she angled her body so that she slid down Draper’s body and her arms rested on her shoulders. She heard Draper’s breath catch and laughed. 

“It’s time for me to take my leave,” Chrisjen told her.

“So soon?”

“No one can really have any fucking fun until I leave. So, I let them have it.” She dropped her arms. “You can stay if you like. I don’t want to ruin your night.”

Draper shook her head. “And have everyone gossip about how the queen’s wife is cheating on her? No.” She held out her arm for Chrisjen to take ahold of. “Let me escort you.”

Chrisjen put her hand in the crook of Draper’s elbow. “Lead on.” 

As they made their way to Chrisjen’s bedchamber, she thought about how much more joy there was in the hall this year. Ending the war had been the right decision for her kingdom. And she had enjoyed herself more than she had in years. Probably since Charanpal’s death, if she was being honest with herself. And yes, the majority of it was the relief of the war being over. But she knew that Draper had brought her joy tonight and since her marriage.

She was surprised when they came to a stop in front of the entrance to her rooms. “We’re here, ma’am.”

“Thank you,” she squeezed Draper’s arm and then stood on her tiptoes and gave Draper a kiss on her cheek. “Happy Solstice, Draper.”

And bless her, Draper blushed. “Happy Solstice, ma’am.”


	2. Chapter 2

Winter went slowly for Bobbie. Despite Avasarala’s complaints about the cold, she convinced her to take their horses out for rides. They’d wander about the land outside of the city and then race back to the stable. Bobbie hated losing but she had to admit the times she was behind Avasarala, her fur-lined cape billowing out as Gaia galloped over the snow-covered fields, was an impressive sight. Bobbie later learned when a stablehand grumbled about the money she lost, that there was a substantial betting pool on their races. When she told Avasarala during the evening meal, she smirked and said she always put money on herself.

Out of boredom, she started observing Avasarala when she was resolving disputes in her throne room. Avasarala would sit in silk and satin and velvet, jewels gleaming, wearing things worth more than some of the petitioners would ever own. Bobbie found that through these audiences, she learned more about her new land (it would never be her home) and her wife. The Mars she had known had a more homogenous culture, dedicated to the goal of repelling the Earther invaders. Earth had a wide variety of cultures, each with their own competing goals. In Bobbie’s estimation, Avasarala was mostly fair. She tended to be lavish to war veterans, but somewhat biased against the lower classes. They would argue about that tendency over meals, and when the arguments became too heated, Bobbie stopped visiting the throne room for a while.

Today, she was teaching her maid, Mary, how to put her armor on. She thought it ridiculous that she had a maid, but Avasarala insisted. Today she was happy for it because she had to take part of some Earther spring ceremony. In her full armor, Avasarala insisted. It was a slow process. The poor girl had been trained to help women into fine and complicated dresses, not to help them dress for war. Mary adapted quickly and finally handed Bobbie her helmet. “The queen requested that you come to her rooms once you are dressed,” Mary told her.

“Requested?” Bobbie asked with a smile.

“I believe her exact words were ‘Tell Draper to get her ass over here after she’s got her fucking armor on.’”

“That sounds more like her. Do you get to participate in the festivities?”

“I’ll be here to help you out of this, but after that, if you let me - “

“Go! At least someone should have some fun!”

Mary curtsied as Bobbie made her way out of the room. Her armor clanked and the sounds echoed off of the wall as she made her way towards Avasarala. It felt strange to wear it without preparing to kill and maim Earthers. It almost felt sacrilegious to be wearing it for an Earther ceremony. She mentally apologized to those in her command over years that died by Earther hands. 

When she reached Avasarala’s rooms, her maid was finishing elaborate braids in her hair that wove in small silk flowers. When she finished, Avasarala stood and smoothed her dark green gown with sheaves of wheat and other crops embroidered with gold thread. “Ah, good, Draper, you’re here.” She swept past Bobbie and motioned her to follow.

Bobbie felt clumsy in her armor next to Avasarala. “What exactly are we doing today?”

“This ritual dates back to when Earth believed that the king and queen must drive out winter in order for the planting season to begin. It used to require the sacrifice of many animals and the pouring of blood on the farm fields throughout the province. However, with the war, it was too much of a waste to kill that many animals. Plus, with how much we’ve fucked up with the war, the royal family has lost much of its illusions of godlike power, thank fuck. Now I just have to slit one cow’s throat in a field.” She grimaced. 

“Do I have to do anything?”

“You, the Council of Ritual have deemed my husband, at least for this. You’ll scatter your seed and fertilize the field.”

Bobbie coughed.

“It’s fucking seeds in a bowl. You’re not going to have wank a wooden phallus.”

“Why do I need my armor?”

“Someone has to protect the weak and fragile spring.”

They reached their horses. Avasarala hitched herself up onto her horse, dark green leggings showing under the skirt of her gown. “Weak and fragile are not words I’d use to describe you,” Bobbie replied as she mounted Big.

“You better fucking not.” And with that, they were off, the Queen’s Guard behind them. 

Half a mile outside the walls of the capital, the road bent near a thick grove of trees. Suddenly, a tree crashed behind Bobbie and Avasarala, cutting them off from the rest of the Queen’s Guard. “Fuck!” Bobbie yelled. Her head swiveled around, trying to find a safe place to stash Avasarala. “Get off of - “

An arrow bounced off Bobbie’s armor. Shit, too late. The next arrow missed Avasarala but buried itself in Gaia’s flank. The horse reared up and threw Avasarala off. Bobbie cringed as Avasarala landed on the road and didn’t move. She moved Big in front of the prone woman and yelled at the Queen’s Guard. “Someone’s trying to kill the queen and they’re in the fucking trees. Go find them!” Bobbie heard a portion of the guard move toward the trees as she dismounted and shielded Avasarala’s body with her own.

Bobbie searched for Avasarala’s pulse and let out a shaky breath of relief when she felt it under her fingers. But there was smear of blood across her forehead. “Avasarala?” Bobbie asked, trying not to panic. She had been in so much worse during the war, but she had also been prepared for the worst then. This was just some stupid fucking ritual and she would have been badly hurt if Avasarala hadn’t insisted that she wear her armor. “Chrisjen?”

When there was no answer, she knew she needed to get Avasarala somewhere safe. She looked around and noticed a ditch near the road. It was probably cold, damp and miserable, but it would shield them if there were still assassins around. It would take too long drag Avasarala over the road, so Bobbie took a risk and picked her up, cradling her underneath her knees and shoulders, as she ran to safety.

Once behind the shelter of the ditch’s earthen walls, Bobbie continued to hold Avasarala close to her. To her relief, the woman was still breathing. She brought her hand up to the wound on Avasarala’s forehead. It looked shallow, but Bobbie had seen too many people die from wounds just like this to relax. “I need you to wake up, Avasarala.”

Bobbie heard someone approaching and cursed the fact that she didn’t have a weapon with her. She tensed up, ready to fight hand to hand if necessary. She let out a relieved sigh when it was four members of the Queen’s Guard not chasing the assassins. “Is the queen still alive?” one of them asked.

“Yes! You two, ride as fast as you can back to the castle and get the queen’s doctor and her carriage. You two, stand guard, just in case trouble comes again.” The soldiers nodded and carried out Bobbie’s orders.

Left on her own with Avasarala, Bobbie tried to keep her as dry and warm as possible. “C’mon, Avasarala, wake up. No one’s going to hold this peace together without you. You can’t leave me here all alone.” She paused and looked at the woman’s still form. Over the course of the last few months, Avasarala had become a vital and necessary part of her life. She felt tears come to her eyes. “If you wake up, I’ll let you win two, no, three of our races in a row.”

When that didn’t work, Bobbie tightened her grip on the other woman and started to hum. It was a wildly inappropriate Martian military drinking song, but she felt that Avasarala would approve of it. Or at least most of it, just not the parts about burning Earth to the ground. After what felt like an eternity, Bobbie heard Avasarala groan and watched her open her eyes. She felt like crying in relief. “What happened?” Avasarala asked.

“Someone tried to kill you.”

“Fuckers,” Avasarala replied. “Are you hurt?”

“No, ma’am. My armor saved me. Luckily some bossy woman told me wear it.”

Avasarala chuckled weakly. “My head hurts.”

“You hit it when Gaia threw you.”

“Is she OK?”

Bobbie shook her head. “I don’t know. I’m sure she is.’

Avasarala tried to sit up. “Fuck. Everything hurts.” She rested her head on Bobbie’s shoulder, despite how cold and uncomfortable the metal had to be.

Bobbie heard the pounding of horses’ hooves and the wheels of the carriage. “It’s the queen’s carriage, ma’am,” one of the sentries she had placed in the road reported.

“Help me up,” Avasarala demanded.

“Fuck, no, ma’am. You’re in no shape to walk.”

“You’re not going to - “

“Carry you? Yes I am.”

“Fine.” The fact that Avasarala acquiesced so quickly told Bobbie she must be in some pain. This time carrying her was easier, with her arms looped around Bobbie’s neck and without the fear of death. She set her in the carriage and made sure the doctor was there. As she turned to leave, Avasarala caught her hand in her own. “Where are you going?”

“I need to find your horse. I’ll be right behind you after I do.”

Avasarala squeezed her hand. “Be safe.”

Bobbie nodded and watched as the carriage sped away. She took a shaky breath and swallowed a sob that threatened to come out. Earth had made her soft. She had lost her vigilance and it had almost cost her her only friend. She had not fought back against the attack. She hadn’t even had a weapon. No longer, she swore. She’d make sure it never happened again.

*

Chrisjen sighed in relief as she sank into her bed. Her entire body hurt and she was exhausted. She knew that tomorrow would bring a day of investigation and calming the fears of the kingdom. If only she could get some sleep. But every time she closed her eyes, she saw Gaia rear and felt her body thrown to the ground. There was a knock on the door. “Come the fuck in.”

Draper came in, carrying a glass of something. “The doctor made a draught that should help you sleep. Aditi tested it to make sure it wouldn’t kill you. And while it’s not deadly, it is strong.” That explained Draper acting as maid, she supposed.

She took the glass. “How are you, Draper?”

Draper tensed. “I’m fine, ma’am.”

“But?” 

“I’m sorry my lack of attention and preparation almost got you killed.” 

“It’s not - “

Draper’s fists clenched. “I didn’t even have a weapon.”

Avasarala put the draught on the table next to her and took Draper’s hand in her own. “You’re conveniently forgetting that I told you no weapons. You warned me in enough time that I could turn and arrow did not hit me. You protected me, Draper. You didn’t leave me to die.” She placed her thumb on the blue band circling Draper’s finger. “You kept your oath, like you always said you would.”

Draper looked down. “I still should have done more.”

“And you will.” Chrisjen ducked her head so she could make eye contact with Draper. “I’m going to put you in charge of my Guard. That way, they’ll have the best training and they will act as almost another limb for you.”

“I’m honored to have your trust.”

“Oh, Draper. You’re one of the few people I can trust.” She squeezed her hand. “Now, go get some sleep.”

“I’d prefer to stay here, ma’am.”

“That’s fucking ridiculous. There are two guards outside this door and you need rest.”

“You said that you were putting me in charge of the Guard because I knew the best practice. This is the best practice.”

Chrisjen shook her head at her stubbornness and regretted it instantly as her head hurt. “Fine.” She patted the bed next to her. “Get in.”

Draper’s eyes widened. “I can’t.”

“I’m not going to threaten your fucking virtue. This bed is fucking huge. You can sleep on the other side.”

“Not best practices, ma’am.”

“Fine. I am too fucking tired to argue with you any more tonight. But you will fucking sleep.”

“Not best practices.”

Avasarala got out of bed and made her way to where the extra pillows and blankets were stored. “As queen, I still outrank you, and I fucking order you to sleep, Draper.” She handed the other woman pillows and blankets. “So fucking sleep.”

Of course, Draper created a makeshift sleeping area near the door so anyone entering the room would have to step over her. Stubborn. Chrisjen drank her draught. Fuck, it was strong. And as she drifted off, she admitted to herself that she felt safer with Draper sleeping in her room.

-

Morning brought the news that several of the assassins had been caught. Chrisjen asked Muss, the current captain of her Guard to interrogate them. She and Draper were waiting in the council room for the results. She looked at Draper and could tell from her posture that she was stiff from sleeping on the floor. “Should have slept on the fucking bed, Draper.”

“I’m fine.”

Chrisjen rolled her eyes in exasperation. “Fucking stubborn.”

Draper looked at her with irritating detachment. “Best practices.”

She was about to reply when Errinwright walked into the room and sat next to her. “Sadavir. What are you doing here?”

“Your Council should know who attempted to kill you. Your protection the duty of every loyal subject of Earth.” He looked pointedly at Draper.

“And apparently you, too.”

“You wound me, your majesty.”

The rest of the council filed in. Chrisjen leaned over and whispered to Draper. “Your horse has more sense than most of these fuckers.” She was rewarded with raised eyebrows and an amused smile.

Muss entered after the council. “Finally, some answers. What have you learned, Muss?”

“A whole lot of confusion, ma’am. All the would be assassins we caught are Earthers. Some say that Mars sent them.” A murmur broke out in the room, but Muss continued. “Some say that various factions of the Outer Provinces hired them.”

“That’s something that Mars would instruct their soldiers to do to create confusion and doubt,” Errinwright interjected.

“If Mars wanted her dead, she’d be dead.” Draper replied.

“Oh, is that something you’d know from personal experience, Martian?”

“Fucking enough. Muss, you were saying?” Chrisjen said before Draper could respond.

“Yes, ma’am. We had someone I consider credible offer us information. She’d like to talk to you.”

This was highly irregular, but Chrisjen supposed Muss had her reasons. Most likely, it’s because Muss realized it’d be safer for the other person to voice suspicion than for her. Chrisjen nodded. “I’d like to hear what she has to say.”

“She said she’d only talk to the Queen and her Guard.”

“Fine. Everyone else out.”

Errinwright was agitated. “The Martian should leave.”

“Draper’s part of my Guard now. Please, get the fuck out.” Already this mysterious person had correctly predicted that Chrisjen would be more comfortable with sensitive information to be away from her Council. She trusted them about as far as she could throw them. 

When the room emptied, Muss nodded and young girl stepped in. She was wearing the leather and furs of the Outer Provinces and her neck bore their distinctive tattoo. But when she spoke, her voice carried no trace of the accent of those provinces. “I’m Juliette Mao, Jules-Pierre Mao’s daughter. I’m here to tell you that my father is behind the attempt on your life, not the Outer Provinces.”

“You look like you’ve not been to the southwest for quite some time. Do you have any evidence for this accusation?”

Mao nodded and pulled a document out of her satchel. “A letter my sister Clarissa wrote me. In it she bragged about how ‘father would take care of that bitch Avasarala and resume his riches.’” As you know, he made his fortune selling weapons. With no war between Earth and Mars, he no longer has Earth as his largest buyer.”

Chrisjen picked up the letter and read it. It was what the girl said, but unfortunately it was not enough proof for her to act against one of the most powerful and rich noblemen. She handed the letter to Draper. “And what do you want in exchange for betraying your father?”

Mao stood up straighter and jutted her chin out. “Independence for the Outer Provinces.”

Chrisjen waved her hand. “And we know that’s not going to happen. What do you really want?”

“Peace. I don’t want Earth to turn to slaughtering the Provinces.”

“As long as the Provinces don’t make war upon me, I won’t destroy them. But thank you for this information, even if it makes things far more fucking complicated. I’ll also grant you safe passage back.”

“The Provinces will be free, Chrisjen. It’s only a matter of time.” Mao spat.

“I’ve heard that before, as had my father and my grandmother before me.” She turned to Muss. “See that she gets something to eat and warm place to sleep tonight. She’s free to go.”

When she and Draper were alone in the room, Chrisjen leaned back in her chair with a thud. “Fuck,” she groaned. 

“What are you going to do?” Draper asked.

“I don’t have enough information to make an overt move. But I believe I have just the spy already in place in Mao’s lands.”

“Spies,” Draper made a face.

“This one is loyal, or at least loyal to my son’s memory.” Every time she thought thinking about Charanpal’s death would become easier, the grief would rush upon her and steal her breath with its ferocity.

“I also want to double your guard.”

Chrisjen sighed.

“You put me in charge.”

“Fine. Now I suppose is a good time to tell you I had Mary move some of your things into my room, since you’ll be sleeping there. Don’t worry. I got you a proper bed so your back won’t be sore.” She smirked at the shocked look on Draper’s face. “Like you said, you’re in charge.” She left the room, leaving a stunned Martian behind.

*

Bobbie felt genuinely better now that she was training and commanding the Queen’s Guard. Despite the odds, she and Muss had formed a comfortable working relationship. It also helped that Muss absolutely knew that Bobbie could kick her ass. Her life had a sense of purpose and a predictable rhythm and she no longer struggled to fill the hours of the days.

The most difficult thing to adjust to was sharing a sleeping space with Avasarala. Bobbie had, of course, slept many to a room or tent when she was a soldier, but that was a different. It was sparse and uncomfortable and reeked. Sharing a room with Avasarala, she felt as if she was drowning in luxury. It sometimes took the woman an hour to dress or undress. There were flowers and fresh bed clothing and almost anything Bobbie could wish for could be brought to her.

There were the nights, though, when Avasarala would sweep in and unleash a torrent of foulmouthed abuse on whatever idiots she had the misfortune to encounter during the day. There was the night when she noticed Bobbie had strained her shoulder during the day and introduced her to the glories of her bathtub large enough to accommodate Bobbie’s frame. There were the nights, aided by the darkness, where they worked out the conflicts and compromises of their relationship, where they shared court gossip, and learned about each other’s past. Those nights made sharing a room more than just a duty.

Tonight, though, the heat and humidity were stifling. It was enough to make Bobbie wish that she had scheduled night training with the Guard. At least she’d be out in the open air, not in a stuffy room. She wrinkled her nose at the thought of even laying on her cot and could feel the sheets sticking to her sweaty skin already.

Avasarala entered into the room, hair dripping, wearing a lighter cotton shift rather than the silk she wore most nights. She threw Bobbie a cloth that she had dunked in what must have been the coldest water she could find. Bobbie murmured her thanks and ran the cloth over her face, her arms, her neck and chest. When she looked up, she found Avasarala staring at her.

Caught, Avasarala gave her a lop-sided smile. “It’s too fucking hot here, Draper. We’re leaving tomorrow.”

“Oh? Where are we going?”

“My daughter and her children live near the largest inland lake. It’s much cooler there. Besides, it’s time for my family to meet my wife, don’t you think?”

“Of course, ma’am.” 

Avasarala extinguished the lights in the room. Bobbie slept poorly that night, but not just from the heat. But judging from the movement coming from Avasarala’s bed, sleep was elusive for her, too.

-

Bobbie was nervous during the two-day journey to the shores of the Greater Inland Lake. She didn’t flinch charging into enemy lines, but meeting Avasarala’s family intimidated her somewhat. While the court had been snide and distrustful, it didn’t matter because Avasarala had made it abundantly clear that she despised most of them. But these were people Avasarala loved and somehow, over the last few months, it became important to her that they accept her or at least tolerate her.

She shouldn’t have worried. Avasarala’s granddaughters came flying out of the surprisingly modest house on the shore the lake to greet them. They insisted on calling Bobbie “grandma” until Bobbie convinced them to call her Bobbie. Avasarala put her hand on Bobbie’s back. “See if you can wear out the little shits while I talk to my daughter.”

And the little shits, named Suri and Kiki she found out, proceeded to run Bobbie ragged. Bobbie climbed trees, swam in the lake, built sandcastles, explored along the shore and answered unceasing questions about herself and being a Martian. (She panicked when asked if she and Avasarala were going to have a baby, but it turned out it wasn’t a question of royal succession, but rather that Kiki was tired of being the youngest.) Finally, the three of them collapsed in a heap in front of the house.

When Bobbie opened her eyes, she saw Avasarala standing above her, gently smiling. She looked different than Bobbie had ever seen her before, wearing a sari of different blues, her hair in a simple ponytail. “Did you enjoy your nap?”

“Mmm,” Bobbie mumbled. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

“It happens to the best of us. Frequently after spending time with my granddaughters.” Avasarala extended her hand. “Ashanti tells me supper is ready.”

Bobbie grasped her hand and pulled herself up. The meal was simple but hearty and reminded her of what her mother made. The table was noisy and chaotic and Bobbie was content watching the Avasarala family interact. There was an underlying tension and sorrow between Avasarala and Ashanti, which probably explained why she did not reside in the capital. Avasarala’s granddaughters adored her and competed for her attention. It was fascinating to watch her with them. She didn’t condescend or speak down to them, but seemed to be testing them, more than Bobbie thought a grandmother would. The pitfalls of being potential heirs to the throne, she supposed.

When the meal finished, Ashanti suggested that Avasarala get her granddaughters ready for bed and Bobbie help her clean up. After Avasarala and the girls disappeared, Ashanti turned towards Bobbie. “I suppose I should ask what your intentions towards my mother are.”

Bobbie started gathering dirty dishes. “My intentions are what I swore to her. That I’d protect her. That I’d be faithful to her. That - “

“That you’d love her?” 

Bobbie blushed and looked away. She hated that she did that. Goddamnit, why was dealing with Avasarala turning her into a teenager again? “It’s complicated.” There. That was the easy and somewhat simple answer.

Ashanti took the dirty plates from Bobbie and dumped them into a basin full of soapy water. “Because I can tell that she adores you. And you’re good for her.” She handed Bobbie a plate to dry. “She’s more herself than she’s been ever since my brother was killed.”

“I’m not doing anything special. We don’t even sleep together, let alone have sex. But I’d never let anything happen to her. I won’t abandon her and I don’t want to hurt her.”

“My mother and I, we have a complicated relationship and it’s grown more so over the past few years.” She pulled a knife out of the water and held it so the blade pointed toward Bobbie. “But if you turn on her, if you use her, if you hurt her in any way, so help me. . . “

Bobbie held her hands up. “I won’t. I don’t want to hurt her. I want to, I want to make her happy and to help her carry her burdens. I want to keep her safe. And if that’s love, then I do love her.”

Ashanti relaxed. “That will have to do, for now.” She handed Bobbie the last of the utensils to dry.

“You know I could have shoved that knife down your throat if I wanted to, right?” Bobbie asked.

Ashanti let out a wry chuckle. “Yes. But I knew you wouldn’t do that to my mother.” 

“MOOOOOOOM!” came the cry from another room.

“It looks like your interrogation is over for the night,” Ashanti told Bobbie before yelling to her children that she was coming.

Suddenly alone, Bobbie wandered out of the house and to a pier on the lake. The moon hung low in the sky and reflected a smear of light in the water. She sat down, removed her boots and stuck her bare feet in the cool water. She looked up at the moon, played with the blue ring on her finger and mentally cursed Ashanti. Her questions had put Bobbie’s emotions in turmoil. She liked Avasarala, enjoyed her time with her, and couldn’t imagine her life without her. She’d have to be blind to miss how beautiful she was. She liked to find excuses to touch her, somedays she wished she could find more reasons. But love. It seemed like a betrayal to Mars and everyone she had fought with. “Fuck,” she muttered.

“I agree.” Bobbie jumped. Avasarala joined her on the pier while she was lost in her thoughts. “I found a bottle of ale stashed away in the cellar. It’s not Martian, but would you like to share?”

Bobbie nodded and Avasarala handed the bottle to her. Bobbie opened the bottle and drank while Avasarala sat and put her feet in the water. “This is so much better than that fucking sweaty armpit we left behind.”

“Why don’t Ashanti and the girls live in the capital?”

“Ashanti and I haven’t had the best relationship. She was much closer to Arjun than to me and she always accused me that Charanpal was my favorite. She’s probably right. After his death, when she became my heir, I realized how little I had prepared both of us for that possibility. She was under tremendous pressure and I showed her no mercy, and tried to control her every move, so that I didn’t lose her either.” She took the bottle from Bobbie and drank. “When Arjun died, we both fell apart. She blamed me for his death, couldn’t stand to be in the same room as me. A part of me blamed me, too. But I became more insistent that she be prepared for her eventual reign.

“One day, she left. I have no idea how. I suspect some of the Guard was sympathetic. I was not an easy person to be around at that time. I was frantic. I got word that she was here. I found her and we had a terrific fight. I’m sure it’s still talked about in the nearby town. I left. She stayed. We stopped talking. She married a local man. And when she had Suri, she reached out to me. We’ve slowly been rebuilding our relationship, but we’ve found we do better when we only see each other once a year, for a short time.”

“Is she protected?”

“Do I look like a fucking dumb ass?”

Bobbie swiped the bottle from her. “Not answering that.” She drank.

“What did you and Ashanti talk about?”

“She wanted to know my intentions toward you.”

“Like I’m some fucking blushing virgin bride?”

“I think she wanted to make sure I wouldn’t betray you.”

Avasarala took the bottle and drank as the breeze lifted her loose hair. Bobbie could see in the tension in her jaw that she was struggling with some emotion. “A few years ago, she would have given you the dagger to put in my fucking back.”

Bobbie saw Avasarala surreptitiously wipe some tears away. “I’m glad that things are better. Mostly because I’m not stuck between the two of you. She may have been closer to your husband, but there’s a lot of you in her.”

“I don’t know if that’s good.”

Bobbie, emboldened by the ale, brought her hand to cup Avasarala’s cheek. “I think it’s a good thing.” Avasarala leaned into Bobbie’s touch.

“There you two are,” Ashanti interrupted. Bobbie pulled her hand away. “And there’s my fucking good ale.”

“A lot of you,” Bobbie repeated as Avasarala rolled her eyes.

*

Chrisjen grew even more frustrated as Aditi put the leather breastplate on her upside down again. “It’s the wrong fucking way,” she snapped.

“Sorry, your highness,” the girl replied, as she cringed away from Chrisjen.

Chrisjen had been on edge since returning from her visit to her daughter. Because of this day, her least favorite day - Earth’s Remembrance Day. It was a holiday that celebrated Earth’s military and memorialized all who died in the wars. It was a miserable day. She had to wear the old-fashioned leather armor of Earth’s first warriors and sit through a review of all of Earth’s troops. She had to smile and wave and look every inch a perfect queen.

It also was a remembrance of every mistake she made in war. Each line of soldiers had been filled with the young people of Earth year after year. Many did not march in more than two parades. There were years where one in five of Earth’s soldiers never came home and many more came home severely hurt, both physically and mentally. Sometimes, in her dreams, she saw the parade, but it was full of shambling and rotting corpses, the bodies of those she sent to throw themselves against Martian shores and Martian defenses. Charanpal usually led those parades. Sometimes Arjun, sometimes her father did.

Chrisjen shivered with that image. Aditi finally got the straps to fit Chrisjen’s frame and noticed. “Are you cold, your highness?”

“Fuck no. It’s hotter than piss today.”

This year was complicated because it was the first Remembrance Day during peacetime that anyone could remember. And Draper was part of that peace and was currently sulking in her own room. She and Draper had fought over this day the entire way back from Ashanti’s. Chrisjen needed Draper to be present to reassure the people of Earth that this peace would hold, that they wouldn’t be sent to die in Mars again. Draper insisted that she still was a Martian and she’d be damned if she showed up at a parade celebrating those who had killed her people.

They had a tremendous fight last night. It was not their usual clash of personality and opinions, but rather incredibly painful. Each had attacked the other’s weaknesses. Chrisjen accused Draper of betraying her. Draper charged that Chrisjen would drive her away just like she had her entire family. Eventually, they realized they were arguing in circles and Draper returned to her own room to sleep. Chrisjen slept very little. She found herself unsettled without Draper’s presence. At least the lack of sleep kept the fucking nightmares away.

“No, no, no, you’re doing that fucking wrong!” Chrisjen yelled at Aditi who was looking at the leather gauntlets like they contained the mysteries of the universe.

“The poor girl isn’t trained to put on obsolete armor, Avasarala. Go easy on her.”

Draper. She wasn’t wearing the regalia of the Queen’s Guard. She wore a simple green dress - a neutral color, not the blue of Earth, the red of Mars or the black of the Outer Provinces. And much to Chrisjen’s dismay, her eyes teared up at the sight of her. “Draper.”

Draper tactfully ignored Chrisjen’s tears. “Aditi, I’ll help the queen get dressed. You’re free to go.” The girl practically sprinted out of the room.

Silently, Draper helped Chrisjen into the ancient leather armor: the gauntlets, the greaves, the spaulders. Her touch soothed Chrisjen and reminded her how Draper had become such a vital component of her life over the last few months. After Draper placed the golden crown of laurel leaves atop her head, Chrisjen turned toward her. “Thank you for coming. I know how hard today will be for you.” 

“I promised you I’d be faithful.”

“You have been. You are.” Chrisjen took a deep breath. “And I’m sorry about what I said last night. This is not a good day for me. For you, and probably most of the people of Earth, today is about celebrating the glories of Earth. For me, it’s filled with the ghosts of the dead.”

“Did you just apologize to me?”

“Yeah, well, don’t fucking tell anyone.” She took Draper’s hands in her own. “Those things you promised - to be faithful, to ease the other’s burdens - I pledged them to you, too. And I’m sorry that today I can’t do those things for you today. That I have to add to your fucking burden.”

Draper squeezed her hands. “I remember you also said marriage was a negotiation. And you are going to owe me.”

Exhausted from her emotions and lack of sleep, Chrisjen couldn’t stop herself from resting her forehead against Draper’s shoulder. She felt Draper loosely wrap her arms around her waist. It was nice to rest for a bit, to be held by someone who cared for her. She wished she could stay like this for the day, that the sun would set and she could sleep. But she couldn’t fucking do that. She was the goddamn queen.

As she pulled away, she caught their reflection in the mirror. She dressed in armor and Draper wearing civilian clothes. “We’ve changed roles.”

“I’d still be able to beat you in a fight, even in this,” Draper scoffed, pulling at the skirt of her dress.

The remark hit Chrisjen’s pride enough to prod her to lift her chin and pull her shoulders back. She’d get through this fucking awful day. With Draper’s help. “Might as well get this fucking over.” She offered Draper her arm and once they were linked, they went out to face the task that they dreaded.

*

Bobbie had wanted nothing more than to barricade herself somewhere in this fucking castle that had no windows and too much booze and drink the fucking day away. The idea of watching rank upon rank of Earth soldiers, wearing the uniform that she despised, that they had worn when they killed her fellow soldiers, that still showed up in her nightmares, it made her want to vomit, to break things, to try to tear down this castle with her bare hands.

She had tried to explain that to Avasarala, but she would tell her some political bullshit about alliances and showing their strength. Bobbie couldn’t get her to understand how just the thought of this day made her physically ache. They couldn’t stop fighting.

When she woke up this morning, in her own room because she couldn’t stand being near Avasarala, she remembered the last time Earth had a celebration. Bobbie had almost watched someone kill her. She’d be damned if Avasarala was killed while she drank herself into a stupor.

Sitting next to Avasarala as she stood and waved at each unit that paraded past the balcony, Bobbie could see how difficult the day was for her. Normally graceful and deliberate in every move, Avasarala stood stiffly and moved clumsily. Her smile was not one that reached her eyes, nor was it the bland, pleasant mask of the queen. It was nervous and sometimes faltered. In her concern for Avasarala, the pain of the day was not so acute for Bobbie. During the times when she tore her gaze away from the queen, the sight of wave after wave of Earth’s soldiers made her breath catch in her chest and her eyes well up with grief. She’d turn her attention back to her wife, sometimes pressing her hand to the small of her back, or briefly holding her hand, or getting her to drink water to combat the heat of the day.

Finally, the parade ended and the crowd started to disperse. Avasarala sat heavily and put her head in her hands. Bobbie rubbed her back and offered her the cup of water. 

“Do you have anything fucking stronger?” Avasarala asked before she drank. When she looked at Bobbie, she could see that her mask had completely slipped away. Avasarala was exhausted and grief-stricken. 

Bobbie reached up and tucked a loose strand of the other woman’s hair behind her ear. “No. But we’re due at the feast in the gardens. You should probably make an appearance. But feel free to use me as an excuse to leave early, if you need to.”

Avasarala sighed, capturing one of her hands between her own. “Let’s get this fucking over with.”

Bobbie continued to hold Avasarala’s hand during their way to the gardens. As she entered the public realm, Avasarala reconstructed her mask - not perfectly, some weariness still leaked through. Bobbie ran her thumb over the back of other’s woman hand, a reminder that she was not alone.

The dream of only a brief appearance vanished as soon as they stepped foot in the palace’s gardens. All attention turned toward Avasarala, and the nobility lined up with endless fanfare, requests and flattery. She asked Bobbie to find her something to eat. When she succeeded in doing so, Bobbie could not find the queen. True, Bobbie had taken more time than necessary, not looking forward to the rest of the night. But no matter where she looked, she could not find her.

Normally, she would think nothing about Avasarala disappearing. Political scheming required privacy and the ability to tell one person one thing and another a different thing. Perhaps Bobbie was being overprotective, but she didn’t want Avasarala to have to deal with that bullshit tonight. She found Muss and asked where the queen was.

“You didn’t hear it from me, Draper, but she normally goes to her family’s mausoleum tonight.” Bobbie had found the impressive structure on her early exploration of the palace’s grounds. She made her way there, nodding at the Guards outside. 

She found Avasarala, kneeling between two graves that she guessed were her son’s and husband’s. Bobbie saw her shoulders shaking with sobs. She paused, uncertain of what to do. She wanted to reach out and comfort Avasarala, but she worried that the other woman would stop grieving and try to convince Bobbie she was fine.

Avasarala put an end to Bobbie’s deliberation. “Stop fucking lurking, Draper and come here.” She reached her arm out.

Bobbie knelt down and gathered Avasarala in her arms. She buried her face against Bobbie’s shoulder, golden laurel leaves poking into it, and continued to cry. Bobbie didn’t know what to say. What do you say to a woman who had lost so many of the people she loved? What if that woman caused you to watch your friends and family to fight and die? Bobbie simply held her tighter. Her own emotions roiled. She had lost so many friends and soldiers under her command through that hellish war, so many that there was no way for her to remember each of the names. Now she sat in the heart of Earth, comforting the Queen of Earth because she loved her.

Loved her. Fuck.

Bobbie shoved this thought to the back of her mind as she felt Avasarala calm. She rubbed her back until Avasarala pulled slightly back. Her hair was a mess and the tears made the makeup run down her face, but she was still beautiful. She swiped at her face with the back of her hand. “Let’s get the fuck out of here, Draper. Let’s go home and get this miserable, motherfucking day done.”

Bobbie stood and helped her up. Avasarala kissed one grave and then the other, before she wrapped an arm around Bobbie’s waist and leaned into her side. Bobbie curled an arm around her shoulders and somehow found a route where they ran into no one but the Guard. Once they were in Avasarala’s bed chamber, Bobbie felt like she was in a race against sleep. She removed Avasarala’s armor as she removed her makeup and unwound the braids in her hair. 

Finally, in just the white shift that was under the armor, Avasarala crawled into bed. “Good night, ma’am,” Bobbie said softly.

“Stay with me, Draper. Please?” 

“I’ll be right over here, in my bed, ma’am.”

“Stay here. Please?”

“It’s not - “

“Fuck best practices and get your ass in here.” 

As she slid under the covers, Bobbie tried to convince herself she was doing this because Avasarala needed it, not because she herself wanted to. Avasarala sighed with contentment and pulled Bobbie closer to her. Bobbie wrapped her arm around Avasarala’s waist as she moved closer. The queen laced their fingers together, the blue and red of their rings in contrast to one another.

Just for one night, Bobbie promised herself. She knew it was a lie.

*

Chrisjen was fucking frustrated.

Reports from her spy informed her that Jules-Pierre Mao was up to something. There were excessive numbers of weapons forged in his lands, but she couldn’t make accusations because the man was an arms maker. All she could do is continue to monitor the situation and hope she wasn’t caught with her tits out.

Closer to home, it felt like it hadn’t stopped raining in fucking weeks. Rivers were rising and the health of crops all over region was in question. The rain also meant Chrisjen was trapped inside. Her days became consumed with squabbles over internal borders, trade negotiations between various regions of Earth, the petty feuds of the nobility and on and on and fucking on. She was at the point where she wished she could throw the whole lot of them into a rapidly rising river.

Instead of doing that, she decided to take a bath before the evening meal. It would prevent her from trying to cut off some pompous fool’s balls when he brought up his nephew’s property dispute in fuckall nowhere. As the scullery maids brought water to the bath, she watched the rain beat against the window of her bedchamber, clad in nothing but a scarlet silk robe.

Which brought her to another frustration. Draper. Things changed between them the night of Remembrance Day. When she made the decision to end the war through marriage, in all of the possibilities she had contemplated, she never thought she’d actually fall in love with her Martian spouse. But it happened. Fuck.

She was quite confident that Draper was struggling with the same realization - she didn’t have as good of a mask as Chrisjen. They both had spent less time with each other she suspected as they puzzled out how to handle their now divided loyalties. Picking their way between their love for their homelands, for each other and those who wanted this peace to fail was a difficult and complex undertaking. It was like any marriage but just with the fate of two nations and thousands of lives in the balance.

Fuck.

Even so, Draper still crawled into bed with Chrisjen every night, best practices be damned. During that time, Chrisjen could stop calculating the outcomes of her every move. She’d wrap her arm around Draper’s waist and burrow into her back and feel the tension seep out of her.

Chrisjen was pulled out of her reverie by one of the maids telling her that her bath was ready. She entered the room and was about to slip out of her robe when she heard the door to her bedchamber bang open.

When she re-entered her bedchamber, she found Draper soaking wet and dripping water everywhere. The damn fool took the Queen’s Guard to train in the downpour outside. Her squire had removed the armor but she stood in the room, shivering in her tunic and breaches. 

“For fuck’s sake,” Chrisjen said as she grabbed Draper’s hand and pulled her toward the bath. “You’re not supposed to die in defense of me. Get in the bath.”

“I think we very much are supposed to,” Draper responded. “Are you sure? You look like you were going to - “

Impatient, Chrisjen lifted Draper’s tunic. It was heavy and sodden, and Chrisjen couldn’t get it higher than Draper’s underarms. “Get this fucking thing off before you freeze.” 

Draper obeyed and Chrisjen worked on getting her breaches off of her. When her clothes had been removed, Draper sank into the warm bath with a sigh of contentment. Now that she no longer had to worry about her shivering, Chrisjen took in Draper’s naked from. Her arms and legs were well muscled from years of combat. Her torso and upper thighs had several scars crisscrossing them, souvenirs of previous battles. Her breasts, well, they looked to be the perfect size to hold in her hands.

“Do you like what you see, ma’am?” Draper asked.

“Yes,” Chrisjen cleared her throat. She was not going to rush into this like a teenage boy thinking with his dick. She rolled up the sleeves of her robe, knelt next to the tub and took the soap in her hand. She followed the lines of Draper’s body, down her arms, her legs, and her back. Draper for her part tried to relax, but ended up holding her breath when Chrisjen’s strokes moved lower down her stomach.

And then the soap slipped out of Chrisjen’s hand. “Fuck,” she muttered as leaned further over the bath and attempted to search the water for it. 

Draper grasped Chrisjen’s wrist. “Leave it.”

Chrisjen felt acutely aware of everything - the way her robe gaped open, the steam from the bath water, the conflict and desire in Draper’s eyes, Draper’s hand on the back of her neck, gently pulling her closer. Chrisjen brought her hand to the side of Draper’s face, and as their lips met, the door to her bedchamber once again crashed open.

“Mao has risen up in rebellion against you!” came the cry of the messenger boy. “He has invaded the lands to the west! He declared death to the House of Avasarala!”

Chrisjen had already pulled away from Draper and cinched her robe closed. “Fuck,” she hissed before she stepped out into the room. “Find Souther and the Council. Tell them we meet in an hour.” As he rushed out, Aditi rushed in. “Find me something to wear. Nothing too fucking elaborate.”

Draper already left the bathtub and wrapped a towel around her. “I want you to be part of the planning. You and Souther are going to lead the army to Mao’s lands and fucking crush him.”

Draper nodded while trying to hold up the towel. “Are you sure?”

“Draper, you defeated my troops several times. If anyone knows my army’s strength and weaknesses and its tactical blindspots, it’s you.” A tiny, small part of Chrisjen that was not seething in rage that she had been betrayed before she could stop it, wished that the boy had come a few minutes later, perhaps a few hours later. But that wasn’t possible. She sighed, stood on her tip toes and pressed a kiss against the Martian’s cheek. “I’m sorry.”

With that, she girded herself to once again plan a war.


	3. Chapter 3

The days of preparing Earth’s army to crush Mao’s rebellion sped by. It was hard to have a solid plan as there was only the sketchy intelligence Avasarala’s spy and they would not have better information until they were close enough to send scouts. She found Souther easy to work with, they could discuss differences in tactics calmly and without clashes of egos. Both had faced off against each other in the Earth-Mars war and respected each other. Nguyen, his second in command, was another story. Bobbie had almost punched him in the face during one heated argument. He simply hated Martians and having one outrank him infuriated him.

To her frustration, she rarely saw Avasarala. Once a day, Avasarala had both Souther and Bobbie report to her. But for the most part, she was shoring up her authority in other parts of the kingdom, soothing the Martian ambassador that the reactivation of the army was only for an internal rebellion, and planning for the injured, the sick and refugees that would be inevitable. The only other time they saw each other was late at night, when they curled up together in Avasarala’s bed and fell into an exhausted sleep.

She wanted so badly to go back to where they were that day in the bathtub. She wanted nothing more drag Avasarala to bed. But there never seemed to be enough fucking time. Now it was the day before Earth’s army departed for Mao’s lands. Bobbie dedicated the day to drilling the Queen’s Guard and working with Muss to set up Avasarala’s security. If she wasn’t going to be around to personally guard her, she would make sure those she left behind would be up for the task.

She also demanded that Avasarala meet with her, so Bobbie could make sure some of her combat training still remained over the years. She was surprised to find Avasarala already in the drilling yard waiting for her. She wore a modified salwar kameez, a surprise after seeing her only in gowns and saris before. She liked seeing Avasarala like this in comfortable clothing, hair in a simple braid, without jewels.

Avasarala saw Bobbie and she smiled. “Oh good, Draper, I thought you had forgotten about me. I even brought my sword. My actual one. Not that fucking bejeweled monstrosity I have for symbolic reasons.”

The Queen’s Guard ringed the yard and Bobbie was fairly certain that bets were being placed. “Good. Don’t want any excuses when I win.”

“Someone’s fucking confident.”

“Less talking. More fighting.”

The two lined up to spar. At the beginning, Avasarala was slow and clumsy. Bobbie actually contemplated easing up so not to embarrass the queen in front of her personal guard. The gleam in her eyes should have given Bobbie advanced warning. Before she knew it, Avasarala had her on the defensive, parrying every thrust as Chrisjen backed her into a tree. “Not so fucking confident now, are we?” There was hooting from the Guards as some cheered Avasarala on.

There was no way Mars’ best warrior was going to lose to Earth’s queen in front of the Guards she commanded and soon she fought her way away from the tree. The two continued to spar, swords clashing until Bobbie found that Avasarala was a few seconds slow in her counterattack. Exploiting that weakness, she went on the attack until the sword flew out of the queen’s hand. Bobbie brought the blade of her sword up to Avasarala’s neck. “What the fuck was that?” Bobbie asked her, accompanied the cheers by some of the Guards who chose her to win.

Avasarala laughed as she pushed Bobbie’s blade away. “It was worth it to see your face when I had you trapped against the tree. The sheer surprise and fucking fury on it.” Avasarala reached out and squeezed Bobbie’s arm. “I’ll see you tonight.”

Bobbie nodded and turned to the assembled Guard. “All right, showtime is over!”

-

When her day finally ended, Bobbie found Avasarala in a nightgown and robe, studying a document by candlelight, her brow furrowed in concentration. She realized that tonight would be the last time she’d see her like this for awhile, like a human being, and it hurt her heart. She crossed the room, running her fingers through Avasarala’s damp hair, as she looked at what she was studying. A map of Earth with the location of the two armies marked. 

Avasarala sighed and looked up at Bobbie. She looked so worried. Bobbie wanted to soothe her, so she leaned down and kissed her. It was chaste, like she kissed Avasarala every day, like it was no big deal. When she pulled away, Avasarala smiled at her and brought her hand up to cover Bobbie’s on her shoulder. “I can’t believe I’m doing this again. I’m sending my spouse out to fight in a battle.” 

Bobbie could see tears welling in Avasarala’s eyes. She pulled Avasarala toward her and she wrapped her arms around Bobbie’s waist and rested her head against Bobbie’ stomach. Bobbie wanted to reassure her that she would come back alive, but both of them knew it only took one moment of inattention, one moment of bad luck and she was dead. So, she simply held her.

Avasarala turned her head and placed a kiss on Bobbie’s stomach. “Go change. Then come to bed.”

Bobbie disentangled herself and followed Avasarala’s orders. As she approached the bed, Avasarala reached out her arms and pulled Bobbie down. She tangled her hands in Bobbie’s hair and kissed her, deeply and slowly, like she was trying to memorize the feeling. Bobbie covered her body with her own, slotting her leg between Avasarala’s. They kissed, again and again, until Bobbie brought one hand down from Avasarala’s face to the hem of her nightgown to lift it up. Avasarala pulled slightly away. “No.”

“Sorry.”

Avasarala framed Bobbie’s face in her hands and placed a quick kiss to her lips. “No. I want to. Fuck do I want to. But war, it makes me superstitious. And I want you to have a reason to come home.”

And while there was nothing more Bobbie wanted to do than pull off Avasarala’s nightgown and bury her head between her thighs, she understood the need to try to manipulate fate, to try to make it smile upon you. Bobbie smiled and kissed her forehead, her eyes, her lips. “I understand, Avasarala.”

Avasarala caressed Bobbie’s face. “Call me Chrisjen.”

“Bobbie.” 

Bobbie rolled onto her side and Avasarala tangled her legs in hers. She brought Bobbie’s hands to her mouth and kissed them. “You have been an endless goddamn surprise, Bobbie.”

“A pleasant one, I hope.”

“Of course.” Avasarala reached up and kissed her. When she pulled away, she rested her forehead against Bobbie’s shoulder. “I love you, Bobbie. I want you to come back.”

Bobbie pulled Avasarala closer. “I love you, too, Chrisjen,” she whispered against her hair. “Be here for me to come back to.”

Chrisjen lifted her face and kissed Bobbie, once, twice. And then Bobbie yawned. She wanted to stay awake and spend more time with her wife. Avasarala buried her face in the juncture of Bobbie’s neck and shoulder. “We’re both tired. Go to sleep.”

Bobbie kissed the top of Avasarala’s head and despite not wanting to, fell asleep quickly.

*

Chrisjen woke up and found the bed empty when she stretched out her arm. Fuck. Draper probably thought that it would be the noble thing to let her sleep. She rolled onto her back and scoffed.

“I’m still here. You don’t have to pout.”

Chrisjen sat up and watched Draper - Bobbie, she corrected herself - close up her rucksack. She was struck by a melancholy déjà vu as she remembered watching her father, Arjun and Charanpal prepare to leave for battle. She shook her head. It wouldn’t be any fucking good to think like that. She got out of bed and wrapped her arms around Bobbie’s waist and rested her head on her back. Bobbie rested her hands on Chrisjen’s arms. “I am going to have to leave soon. Meet with Souther and then with my regiment’s leaders.”

“I have some things for you,” Chrisjen said as she pressed a kiss to Bobbie’s back. She pulled two small items from her nightstand. “I know you’ve complained that your wedding ring interferes with your sword grip.”

“I’ve adapted.”

Chrisjen shook her head. “I don’t want you to go into battle with an ‘adapted’ technique.” She handed Bobbie a thin steel chain. “Put your ring on this and wear it around your neck.” 

Bobbie did so. The ring came to rest over her heart. Chrisjen should have suspected her jeweler was a romantic. 

“The next is an Earth tradition. When your spouse goes off to war, you give them a scrap of fabric that has sentimental value.” She handed Bobbie a small square of white silk. “It’s from my wedding gown.”

Bobbie took the fabric and tucked it into her rucksack. She then pulled Chrisjen to her by her waist and kissed her, slowly and deeply. Chrisjen looped her arms around Bobbie’s neck. She missed this, that someone saw her as human and still loved her.

When the kiss broke, Bobbie rested her forehead against Chrisjen’s. “Be careful, Chrisjen. We don’t know who’s aligned to Mao here. I’ve trained your Guard and they’ll protect you, but I need you to be alert.”

“Don’t fucking worry about me. Just come back to me.”

Bobbie didn’t respond and Chrisjen knew that she could promise her anything. But she wanted her to swear that of course she’d come back, that she was immortal. That was the fucking problem when you started to love again, you also opened yourself up to pain. She kissed Bobbie to distract herself from her worries. And when Bobbie opened her mouth and she deepened the kiss, despair fled.

Bobbie pulled away. “I have to go.” She caressed Chrisjen’s face. “I love you. Please take care of yourself.”

Chrisjen turned to kiss Bobbie’s palm. “Be smart.” She watched Bobbie leave, lower lip quivering. But she’d be damned if she’d start crying. Draper would come back. There was no reason to fucking cry.

Aditi entered and they began to dress her for her address to the troops. The council and her advisors wrote something bland and overly complicated and she supposed it didn’t matter because so few would hear what she had to say. Since she’d be speaking on horseback, Aditi helped her get into leggings and a long coat with a train colored the blue of the water of the Great Inland Lakes with gold embroidery. Her hair was braided into a tight crown around her head and she wore heavy gold jewelry with large blue stones. As she adjusted the crown upon her head, she caught the flash of red of her wedding ring in the early morning sunlight. The only thing she wore that wasn’t blue or gold.

She played with the ring as she made her way to the stables, surrounded by her Guard. She had to end this rebellion. It wasn’t just a matter of her holding onto her territory. If Mao was allowed to gain power or even the throne, he would return Earth to war against Mars. Even more people would die. If only these assholes could stop their dick measuring contest with her, Earth could rest and repair.

Besides, she had the biggest fucking dick in Earth.

Mounted on Gaia, she looked out over the rank upon rank of Earth’s army. Fuck it. They didn’t deserve some shitty speech. She brought Gaia to a gallop and called out “For Earth!”

Some of the soldiers heard and called back. “For Earth!”

She called again. “For Earth!”

More joined in. “For Earth!”

She kept moving toward the front of the column of humanity. “For your families!”

“For our families!”

“For your land!”

“For our land!”

“For your home!”

“For our homes!”

She reached the head of the column and caught Souther’s eye. He nodded at her. She saw Bobbie grinning at her next to him. “For Earth!”

“For Earth!” 

She thrust her fist into the air. “FOR EARTH!”

“FOR EARTH!”

She let out a yell that every soldier joined in. The roar filled the space and woke up the city.

Then, in front of everyone, she brought Gaia next to Bobbie on Big, and kissed her hard, ignoring the whoops and cat calls. She pulled away, enjoying the surprise on Bobbie’s face. “I fucking love you, Bobbie. Bring that fucker to me and I’ll put his fucking head on a pike.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Chrisjen watched the Army begin its march away from the capital. There, that was a fucking proper farewell.

*

As Earth’s army came closer to Mao’s troops, Bobbie felt something to wake up in her blood. It might be perverse, but Bobbie oftentimes felt most like herself during the heat of battle. She had spent most of her life as a soldier. Life narrowed to the next move, the next breath, to staying alive. She knew that the end of the war was the best thing for the world. But she couldn’t stop the thrill down her spine that she would once again ride into battle. There were times that she believed she had been made to fight. 

The journey south had been comfortable, nothing like several of the forced marches she undertook during the war. She saw that Earth’s towns and cities were intact and its fields green and full of growing crops. Until then, she never comprehended how much the war devastated Mars, most of its towns in ruins, what little arable land continuously trampled by moving armies. Now for her to be fighting for the enemy that had done that, it threw her into conflicting emotions. She felt like a traitor to Mars to be serving as a soldier for Earth, but she knew that her marriage to Avasarala brought peace and in that peace, Mars could rebuild.

Maybe that was why she preferred combat. It wasn’t so fucking complicated.

Now they approached the northern border of the lands Mao claimed. She entered into Souther’s tent. Scouts brought back their reports and they finally could strategize. No more speculation and if this happens, then we do this. Bobbie knew no battle plan survived contact with the enemy, but at least now they would know where the enemy was.

Souther and Nguyen were already studying the map with Mao’s troops’ positions marked. There had to be an error. There’s no way any competent general would have left the eastern flank so exposed. “What do you think, Draper?” Souther asked her. “Nguyen here wants to attack the weak flank here.” 

“Doesn’t it seem suspicious, sir? That flank seems just a little too unprotected, like he put it out there for bait.”

“Bait?” Nguyen huffed. “The man’s a noble, not a soldier. He most likely doesn’t know he’s so exposed.”

“I doubt he’s commanding his troops. Besides, this is such poor planning that even I wouldn’t have done it as a child.

“We’re not all blood thirsty from the womb, Martian,” Nguyen replied.

Bobbie shrugged. “All the more reason to listen to me, Earther.”

“If you two are done, where would you attack?”

“I wouldn’t.” Nguyen scoffed. “He’s moving westward, right? We move ahead and find land that favors us and we wait for him to come to us.”

“And if he changes direction?” Souther asked.

“We reassess.”

“Which is a fine strategy when you’re an insurgent force in the land you’re familiar with!” Nguyen exclaimed. “We have superior numbers and a highly disciplined fighting force. And that flank is weak. It will be quick and easy and we can go home.”

“War is never easy,” Souther said. “Although, I’m inclined to agree with Nguyen. If the enemy wants to give us that much of an opportunity, we must take it.”

Bobbie saw that she was outvoted and outranked. She had to defer even though she strongly disagreed. She clenched her jaw but replied, “Aye, sir.”

The spent the rest of evening carefully constructing the strategy and orders for the next day. Bobbie’s gut told her that this was a mistake. She built as many contingencies and failsafes into the plans as she could. But as she walked back to her tent and greeted her own soldiers and briefed her own staff, her unease grew.

Laying in her cot and unable to sleep, Bobbie pulled out the scrap of Avasarala’s wedding gown. Feeling foolish, she brought it up to her face and rubbed it against her cheek. Fuck, she missed her. She would have known what to say to dissuade Souther. Of course, she was queen, so she would have outranked him. “Something bad is going to happen,” she whispered to the cloth. “I’ll try to stop it. I’ll try to contain it.”

Bobbie could almost hear Avasarala’s voice in her head, telling her to take care of herself and to go the fuck to sleep. Bobbie rubbed the cloth once last time on her cheek, wishing it was her hand. She fell into a fitful sleep, still clutching the fabric in her hand.

-

Earth’s army stirred itself awake at dawn. Camp broke down and soldiers began to take position. The land was full of the anxious whispers and loud bragging of soldiers about to enter battle. Bobbie mounted Big and made her way to where Souther and Nguyen were meeting. “Beautiful day to kick Mao’s ass, isn’t it, Draper?” Souther asked.

Bobbie gave him a slight smile. “Aye, sir.”

“Both of you, tell your soldiers that whoever captures Mao, I’ll make sure they’ll have a large portion of fresh meat for their unit.”

Bobbie laughed at that. “Excellent motivation, sir.”

“All right. Get your soldiers ready. We move in a half hour.” 

Bobbie nodded and turned Big toward her regiment. She was surprised at how silent Nguyen was. She expected braggadocio and pot shots at her. She turned her head in order to shout some insults at him.

She saw Nguyen bury his sword in Souther’s neck. Time slowed down as she watched his life blood pump out of his neck in shock for a few seconds. Then rage came to her. “What the fuck?” she screamed at Nguyen.

“We restore Earth and then we’ll come for Mars! I look forward to killing you personally, Martian.” 

She spurred Big into a gallop to chase after him, when she heard the bugle call and saw Mao’s troops coming toward her. She had to leave him and Souther’s body behind. Her duty was now to get as many of Earth’s soldiers somewhere safe. “Retreat!” she yelled as she galloped toward the lines upon lines of infantry soldiers who were rapidly realizing that things had gone horribly wrong. Chaos spread as they broke ranks.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, she had to get some semblance of order back. She grabbed a member of the calvary near her. “Calvary! Form a line with me. We’ll form a rear guard.” Looking to her left, she was gratified to see her own lines remaining in formation. Either she’d given them better training or they weren’t aware of the danger. Either way, she needed them. She sent signals down the line and two units formed a rear guard with the calvary.

“Larson!” she grabbed her second in command. “Try to get as many soldiers as you can to calm down and then retreat to the last town we visited. Have someone go ahead and warn that town to set up their defenses and tell them we’ll join them. Go!” Larson nodded and galloped off. 

Mao’s advance troops bore down on them and Bobbie’s world narrowed only to the battle. There was only the next move, the next breath. She was in her element. Time no longer had meaning as she cut and thrust and moved inexorably backward, hoping that everything she did bought more time to get more people to safety. She saw her fellow soldiers cut down and she killed as many as necessary. She felt the bite of the sword on her side but she brushed it off and redoubled her efforts. She was covered in sweat, and blood and grime, as the land around filled with bodies and the groans of the injured.

Finally, in thirty seconds or three weeks, she wasn’t sure which, she and what was left of the rear guard came to the town’s makeshift fortifications. After some confusion (she still wore Mars’ armor), she was let into the town. She found what appeared to be headquarters. She was so exhausted. She recognized Larson. “Draper!” she yelled.

Bobbie swayed in the saddle. “Get word to the queen that she’s been betrayed. Warn her to be alert.”

“Ma’am, we have to take you for medical attention. You’re bleeding heavily.”

Bobbie looked woozily at her side and put her hand to it. It was covered in blood. “Guess that blow I took was bad. Make sure you warn the queen.”

The darkness closed in on Bobbie as she laid her head on Big’s neck.

*

It was the nights when Chrisjen missed Bobbie the most. During the day, she was constantly bombarded by her duties and everyone wanting her attention. There were small moments, when she would have turned to Bobbie and made a remark or the first week when she still tried to take time for a walk when she would feel her absence like an ache. So she threw herself into her work and put off sleep for as long as possible.

Eventually, though she had to sleep. Alone, in the privacy of her bed (their bed, she amended), she’d curl herself around the pillows on Bobbie’s side. Then she’d allow herself to miss her. She could be a sentimental old woman away from the prying eyes of the court.

She was stuck in an interminable Council meeting when she heard a clamor in the courtyard. Muss burst through the doors of the room and gripped her shoulder and physically moved Chrisjen into the center most room of the castle. Which apparently was being used a storage room. Other members Guards guarded the entrances to the room.

Muss looked around at the clutter in the room. “This is going to have to change.”

“What the fuck is going on?” Chrisjen demanded.

Muss stood at attention. “Ma’am, we just received a message from the army. They’ve been betrayed. Souther is dead. Nguyen turned traitor. The army had to retreat and regroup.”

Chrisjen’s eyes widened. “What about Bobbie?”

“She is injured but still alive. She personally warned that you may not be safe.”

“Who else knows about this?”

“Probably at least half of Earth. Mao proclaimed that he defeated you, however, he is unable to get past the army’s defensive fortifications.”

“Can we get them reinforcements?”

“There are troops are on their way, but it will take weeks.”

“Fuck.”

“They’re well provisioned and in good position and Mao seems to be content holding position.”

“That makes no fucking sense.”

“I think that is why Captain Draper warned you about your safety. It’s likely there are members of the court loyal to Mao.”

“And why waste your army when you can just cut off the head of the goddamn snake. Fuck!” Chrisjen exclaimed.

“Ma’am, I’d like you to stay here if possible. It’s far away from the public and we can control every point of entry.”

“No. I am not fucking locking myself in a fucking storage room! How can I convince anyone that I am still in charge of this damn land if I hide away?”

Muss sighed. “I had a feeling you’d say that. At least let me double your personal guard.”

“Fine.” Chrisjen straightened her spine and pulled her shoulders back and exited the room at a leisurely pace. She’d be fucked if she let anyone disloyal to her think they had caused her a moment of fear. This was her fucking home. Let them try to hurt her, she’d hurt them worse.

-

Chrisjen woke when the bed dipped with someone’s additional weight. “Bobbie?” she murmured, half awake, reaching out for her.

She felt the press of a blade against her neck. Fuck. “No, it’s not your fucking Martian.”

She knew that voice. “Sadavir?” She should have known. He had argued longest and hardest against the peace treaty with Mars. “How did you get in here?”

“Even your loyal Guard hesitates to bar your counselor from you when there is urgent news. Or at least long enough to slit the two girls’ throats.”

There’d be time enough to feel sorrow about those deaths if she survived. She needed to keep him talking. Eventually, someone would figure out something was wrong. Or she’d think of a way out of this mess. “Why didn’t you kill me while I slept? Having second thoughts?”

“No, Chrisjen.” He pushed the knife closer to her neck. She could feel it nick her. “I wanted to see your face when you realize how wrong you are.”

“What the fuck am I wrong about?”

“Mars! Mars has one goal: the destruction of Earth. There can be no peace with Mars. Jules-Pierre Mao understands that. You, you married a Martian! You’re allowing Mars to rebuild instead of grounding it to dust.”

She slowly moved away from the knife. It brought her closer to him, but that couldn’t be helped. “It was a goddamn stalemate, Sadavir. You and Mao want to throw generation after generation of Earth’s children into the fucking slaughterhouse. You won’t conquer them. You’ll get the same awful result.”

“Mao promised me a new weapon. One that Mars won’t have. One that will swing the war our way.”

“I’ve heard that before. A new weapon! A new tactic! It never fucking works.”

“You’re wrong.” He brought the knife close again. “And now you’ll die.”

It was now or never. She threw back her head and heard the crunch of his nose breaking. The knife slipped, cutting her collarbone instead of her throat. She rolled away from him and slid out of the bed. “Help!” she yelled. “Help me!” 

“Fucking bitch.” Errinwright still had the knife. She looked around the room. There had to be something she could use as a weapon. The fireplace! She ran to it and grabbed the pointed stoker. She could hear someone pounding on the doors to her chambers. He must have blockaded them. How the fuck did she sleep through that?

Panicking, Errinwright rushed toward her, knife high. She ducked out of the way. She could hear something ramming against the doors. She just had to keep moving. He rushed again and she stopped the motion of his arm with stoker she held in both hands. She pushed him backward into the wall. She ran toward where the Guard was breaking the doors to her chambers. She pushed the desk away from the doors when he came toward her again. Two of her guards came through the door and grabbed his arms. He strained against them. “Fine, you bitch. You’ll learn the hard way when Mao destroys everything you love.”

Chrisjen pushed her hair out of her face. “You should have tried poison, motherfucker. Get him the fuck out of here.”

They dragged him out of the room. “Your highness? Are you OK? You’re bleeding,” another of the Guard asked her.

Chrisjen reached up to her collarbone and hissed in pain as she touched the cut. She pulled her hand away and saw blood on her fingertips. “It’s nothing. Just a cut.”

“Still, the doctor should look at it, ma’am.”

“Fine.” 

She sat and absently touched the wound. It was a physical reminder about how she could never let her guard down when she was alone.

*

Bobbie spent the next few days in a fever haze. At least, she was told it was days. For her it was a mixed-up time where people and events from throughout her life melded together with no rhyme or reason. She commanded Chrisjen to charge Earth’s lines at Olympus Mons. Her mother was present at her wedding. Her brother, Benji, and her drinking ale in Earth’s throne room. Those were the images that made sense. The rest were flashes in various colors and black and white.

Now, however, she felt a cool cloth against her forehead. “Chrisjen?” she asked.

“No, it’s Anna.” Bobbie opened her eyes and saw a blond woman, wearing the mark of the sun god. She didn’t realize there were still followers of that religion. 

She licked her lips. “Thank you, Anna. Where am I?”

Anna brought Bobbie a cup of water and she gratefully drank from it. “You’re in my house. You made it back to Petersburg before you collapsed. You had quite a gash in your side but luckily, it missed your vital organs. You’ve been fighting off a fever but it broke last night.”

“The army?”

“A stalemate.”

Bobbie let out a sigh of relief and sat up. She felt woozy and rested her back against the wall. 

“You’ve got several people who want to visit you. You’re still incredibly weak. I don’t want you to overexert yourself.”

“I’d still like to see them.”

“Only for a little while.” Anna opened the door. 

Bobbie recognized Larson, Shaffer and Mancuso from Earth’s army. Juliette Mao was a surprise, as was the man and woman she didn’t recognize. “What the fuck is going on?”

Shaffer stepped up. “We have a plan to defeat Mao.”

“Who is we?”

“Cotyar Ghazi,” the man Bobbie didn’t know said. “I’m the old lady’s spy in Mao’s lands.” He handed Bobbie a map. “That shows you where Mao’s troops are and their numbers. For real, this time. None of Nguyen’s bullshit.”

Before Bobbie opened the map, she turned toward the mystery woman. “And you are?”

“Drummer. A war leader for the Outer Provinces.”

“What the fuck are you doing all the way down south?”

“My father is a fucking monster,” Juliette answered.

“Mao has been testing a weapon out against the Outer Provinces,” Drummer continued. “He killed the entire town of Eros. We’ve been down here to try to destroy it.”

“What is it?”

Drummer scowled. “We don’t know.”

“That complicates things.”

Drummer merely continued to scowl.

“So, what’s our plan?”

Bobbie opened the map and Shaffer pointed to a point on Mao’s lines. “Here his lines have ceded the higher ground. We can attack from there.”

“The problem is that there is no cover, so that Mao’s troops can see you coming,” Ghazi interjected. 

“Do we have the numbers for a forward attack like that?”

“No,” Shaffer replied.

“So . . . “

“We attack at night,” Drummer answered. 

Bobbie scoffed. “I tried that in Mars. It was a disaster.”

“You’re Martians. We’re from the Outer Provinces. In the winter, there is no sunlight.” Drummer shrugged.

“They’re Earthers,” Bobbie gestured.

“We’ve been working on it, ma’am,” Larson said.

“They’re doing well,” Juliette interjected. “Earthers can learn to fight different ways.”

“I need to think about it.”

Drummer stepped toward her. “With or without you, the Outer Provinces will attack. You can help or you cannot.”

“Then why are you here?”

Drummer shrugged. “We deliver her enemy to her, your queen will owe us.”

“She’s not going to give you your independence.”

“We’ll see.”

Anna entered the room. “Everyone out! My patient needs her rest. You can all come back tomorrow.”

When only Bobbie and Anna were alone in the room together did Bobbie lay down and touch at her neck. Fuck, what happened to her wedding ring?

“Looking for this?” Anna asked, holding the chain with the ring. “I had to take it off one night when you were thrashing around with the fever and it started to choke you.” Anna put it back on Bobbie.

“Thank you,” Bobbie cradled the ring in her hand. “I wish she was here. She’d know what to do.”

Anna reached out and squeezed Bobbie’s shoulder. “If she’s anything like my wife, she trusts you. I’m sure you’ll choose the right thing.”

She hoped so, she thought as she drifted off to sleep.

-

Bobbie was not sure she made the correct decision, but she made the decision that would end the fighting soonest and entered into an uneasy alliance with the Outer Provinces’ war leader. She also made the decision, over the vociferous objections of Anna, to participate in the night time raid. In concession to reality, she would remain in the rear of the army and not lead the charge. Although, she became convinced that Earth’s army was the diversion while Drummer’s forces made their way to Mao. Conflicts between commanders’ egos had killed too many soldiers in Bobbie’s experience, and after Earth’s losses with Nguyen’s betrayal, she needed all the help she could get.

She coordinated the assaults as well as she could in the darkness. As the sun rose up in the sky, word reached her that Mao’s forces had surrendered. Bobbie and her staff made their way to the rendezvous point to meet with Drummer. As they got closer, Bobbie saw that the soldiers had answered one of the many questions lingering over the battle. Someone had stuck Nguyen’s head on a spike. She decided that she didn’t want to know what happened to the body.

When Bobbie looked at Drummer, she never would have guessed her side was victorious. The woman was still scowling. Juliette Mao was with her and her father sat on the ground, clasped in irons. “Finally, Draper,” Drummer said. “Here’s your traitor.”

Bobbie nodded to the Earthers with her and they took Jules-Pierre Mao away. Avasarala wanted to mete out her own justice, but Bobbie wouldn’t lose any sleep if his head joined Nguyen’s on a pike. “The Kingdom of Earth is grateful for your help.”

“We’ll see how fucking grateful the tyrant is when we travel to the capital,” Drummer responded.

Bobbie decided to ignore that. “Did you find the weapon that killed so many of your people?” 

“No,” Juliette replied. “When I asked him, he just said ‘Ask Mars.’” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“My guess is that he sold it to Mars for the money to raise against your queen,” Juliette answered. “It might be defective or he may have a defense against it. Or his answer was bullshit and it’s hidden somewhere. He’s a bastard.”

“What you want to do with Mao’s troops?” Drummer asked. 

“There’s way too many of them to take to the capital. We’ll have to try them here,” Bobbie said.

“And who is going to do that?” 

Bobbie looked at Juliette. “Oh, fuck, no. My loyalties are to the Outer Provinces now.”

Bobbie sighed. “We need someone to oversee this land until Avasarala can appoint a new caretaker. Otherwise, the nearest nobles will fight among themselves over who controls it.”

“How the fuck is this my problem?”

“From where I’m sitting, you’re your father’s heir.” Juliette took a breath to dispute this. “Plus, if you’re here and in charge, you can continue to look for the weapon. It’ll only be for a short time anyway. There’s no way Avasarala’s going to leave you in power.”

Drummer pulled Julie away and they began to argue in that indecipherable dialect of the Outer Provinces. After a few minutes, Juliette acceded to Drummer’s demands. “Fine. I’ll stay here. Besides, I need to find my sister. She’s hiding somewhere and could be dangerous.”

“Great,” Bobbie said. “We have a semblance of a plan. Now what?”

Bobbie almost fell off of Big when Drummer smiled at her. “Now we drink, Draper.”


	4. Chapter 4

Chrisjen felt foolish as she made sure Aditi tied her stays tightly. But Bobbie should be back today and she had seen her eyes wander downward to her chest on more than one occasion. As Aditi helped her step into a deep purple gown with a low cut, she would give Bobbie even more reason for her eyes to wander. She felt slightly giddy. She hadn’t dressed to seduce someone since Arjun died.

She rolled her eyes at herself in the mirror. According to her letters, Bobbie would be bringing troubles with her, and she would have to decide what to do with Mao’s lands and what to do with the Outer Provinces. But Bobbie’s letter, in her own hand, had brought Chrisjen comfort. Despite being injured, Bobbie was still alive.

Chrisjen threw herself into her work. Harvest was nearing and food would have to be allocated to the lands that had their crops destroyed by Mao’s rebellion. She was in her throne room, head resting on her hand, bored by the nobility’s excuses for not sharing when everyone there knew she was going to make them. 

Then the heavy door opened and there she was. Bobbie. Alive and well. A huge weight lifted off of Chrisjen’s shoulders and much to her mortification, tears sprung into her eyes. She realized that even the letter and reports of Bobbie’s health hadn’t completely convinced her that she was alive. And there she was, her wife, dragging Mao behind her as she strode toward Chrisjen.

Chrisjen stood and made herself walk to Bobbie instead of running like she wanted. She couldn’t stop her smile, though. As she came closer, she saw Bobbie grinning back at her. In what must have been an attempt to sober both of them, the small, severe woman next to Bobbie shoved Mao in front of Bobbie. That must be Drummer.

Mao reminded them why they had been apart and the work yet still to do. Bobbie shoved him down to his knees in front of Chrisjen. “The traitor,” she declared.

Chrisjen looked at him. Mao looked at her in pure contempt. It was not the look of a man whose ideological crusade had been defeated, but rather that of a powerful man who had for the first time in his life been denied something he wanted. She was so tired of them and the havoc they wrecked on the world. She waved Muss over. “Take him away. Somewhere dark and damp. Let him fucking rot there.”

She turned back to the assembled nobility. “I’ll see you all tomorrow when you will inform me of how much food you are reallocating to areas in need. Please, kindly fuck off.”

Not caring if they were still there, she threw her arms around Bobbie. She ignored the discomfort of the armor she wore against her skin. She felt Bobbie tentatively wrap her arms around her, probably afraid that she’d inadvertently hurt her with the armor. The tears she had banished before returned as she was filled with joy and relief. “Fuck, I am so goddamn glad you are alive.”

“So am I, ma’am.”

Chrisjen pulled away slightly. “Don’t fucking ma’am me when I’m making a fool out of myself.” And before Bobbie could reply, she stood on her tip toes, pulled Bobbie’s head down to hers and kissed her desperately. Bobbie crushed her to herself and while the armor pinched and hurt, Chrisjen did not care. It was proof that they were alive and together. 

They were disturbed by Drummer clearing her throat. Chrisjen kissed Bobbie one more time before turning her attention to the other woman. “Let’s discuss why I’m here, so I can get back to my wife,” Drummer said in exasperation.

“Fine. Let’s go to the Council chamber. Much less likely that the entire fucking kingdom ends up knowing all the details of our discussion that way.”

“If you don’t need me, I’m going to get out this armor,” Bobbie asked Chrisjen.

Chrisjen was tempted to take Bobbie’s hand and make her sit through the meeting with her. Better yet, to take her hand and lead her to bed and make Drummer wait. But it was better to just get this shit over with. “Go. One of us deserves to be comfortable.”

Bobbie gently kissed Chrisjen. “If you need me, I’ll be in our rooms.” She liked the way our rooms sounded. 

“Follow me,” she said to Drummer as she led her the Council chamber. Bobbie warned her that the Outer Provinces would demand freedom for their help in suppressing the rebellion. She was of two minds. Part of her wanted to let them go, the Outer Provinces were more trouble than they were worth. Another part of her realized that ending the war with Mars and giving the Outer Provinces their freedom would be interpreted as weakness in many parts of the world and only invite problems.

“Would you like something to eat or drink? I could have - “

“No. Unlike you Earthers, we do not need all this ritualistic bullshit. We like to get to the heart of the matter.”

“Last I knew, the Outer Provinces were part of Earth.”

“Earthers are soft. You wouldn’t even last a week in the Provinces.”

“And yet the Provinces still depend upon the inner provinces for food and supplies.”

“And you rely upon us for our natural resources and cheap labor. And now, for quelling rebellions.”

“So what? You end one rebellion and you get your own?”

“You grant us independence in return for our assistance, you don’t have to worry about losing more lives in the Provinces.”

“Are you threatening me?”

Drummer shrugged. “Oppress people long enough and violence erupts. There are several more radical factions looking to spill Earther blood.”

“How do I know you’ll control those ‘more radical factions’ if I give you sovereignty?”

“You don’t. But I control the largest faction and can hold the more fringe factions in check. And independence would remove the biggest driver of violence.”

“And how would you survive without Earth’s help?”

“We’d enter a trade agreement on equal footing. And if you were unwilling, we could enter into one with Mars and you’d be left behind, Chrisjen.”

Ah, Mars gives her the opening. “You also claim the territory across the sea in Mars, correct?”

“We don’t see the sea as a border. The Outer Provinces span across it.”

“How can I give the Outer Provinces independence if Mars claims part of your territory, Camina?”

Drummer tried to hide her surprise that Chrisjen knew her given name. Chrisjen smirked. She had an excellent spy network. “We’ll deal with Mars later.”

Chrisjen sighed. “I just ended a war with Mars. I don’t need to provoke them again.”

“So that’s it? Just a thank you and a fuck you for helping you?”

“No, Camina. I’ll call for a summit between Earth, Mars and the Outer Provinces. You can make your case there.”

“Will Earth back our independence?”

“Earth will decide at the summit.”

Drummer said something Chrisjen was pretty sure was cursing her and her ancestors in the Provinces’ dialect. “Fine. We’ll have a fucking summit,” Drummer spat.

Chrisjen inclined her head. “I’ll have someone show you your quarters for however long you wish to stay here.”

Drummer agreed. Chrisjen doubted she’d stay long before returning home. The summit may be a coward’s way out but she’d be damned if she unilaterally made concessions to the Outer Provinces. Mars was going to have to, too.

*

Bobbie had a plan. She spent several of the days of the return trip to the capital fantasizing and plotting what she would do when she was back in the capital. She finally decided on a bath and making Chrisjen Avasarala beg. Right now, as she stripped out of her dusty road clothing, she had the scullery maids filling the bathtub with hot water. At least one of her wishes was being fulfilled.

She wrapped a robe that looked to be in her size around her. Chrisjen had done some rearranging while she was gone. The second bed that had been hers was gone and most of her things had been moved into these rooms. Normally, Bobbie would be annoyed that this was done without her consultation, but it felt right. At least for now.

Bobbie sat down on Chrisjen’s bed as she waited for the tub to be filled. Their bed, she corrected herself as she ran her hands down the soft cover. For as much as a part of her loved battle, she was happy to be back. (She couldn’t quite call it home - home was still Mars.) She yawned. If she hadn’t wanted a bath so badly, she would have curled up and slept until Chrisjen came back.

To her surprise, Chrisjen swept into the room. Bobbie smiled. Chrisjen never merely entered a room. She may not be aware of it but she swept in or burst in or . . .

“What are you smiling at?” Chrisjen asked with her own gentle smile. 

“You,” Bobbie answered honestly. “How did it go with Drummer?”

Chrisjen frowned. “I’ve come up with a very fucking temporary solution. But I don’t want to talk about political shit right now.” She moved to stand between Bobbie’s legs and looked down at her. “It’s rare that I’m taller than you.”

Bobbie place her hands on Chrisjen’s waist and pulled her closer. “And what are you going to do?”

Chrisjen caressed Bobbie’s face and leaned down to kiss her, softly, once, twice. She pulled slightly away but Bobbie chased her and kissed her again, longer and more insistently, opening her mouth. They continued kissing, Chrisjen’s hands moving from Bobbie’s face to her shoulders to skim over her breasts through the silk of the robe. And fuck it felt good but wasn’t enough at the same time. She could feel Chrisjen try to push her backwards onto the bed. 

But Bobbie had a plan, so she broke the kiss. Chrisjen looked at her, puzzled and annoyed and needy at the same time. “I have a plan and it involves taking a bath.” She stood up and kissed Chrisjen on her nose. “Would you like to join me?” Chrisjen nodded and Bobbie kissed her, took her hand and led her into the bathroom.

The girls must have just finished filling the tub as the water steamed and gave off the aroma of jasmines. Chrisjen reached out and tried to open Bobbie’s robe. Bobbie stepped back. “That wouldn’t be fair. You’re wearing too much, Chrisjen.”

Chrisjen jutted her chin out. “And what the fuck are you going to do about it?”

Bobbie moved behind Chrisjen and began to undo the tiny buttons on her dress. Fuck there were a lot of them and defied any attempt she made to undo them faster. Eventually, though, enough were undone to show bare skin. Bobbie trailed kisses down Chrisjen’s neck and spine until she reached the stays. As she pushed down the sleeves, she mentally thanked Chrisjen for wearing a fairly uncomplicated dress. Perhaps Bobbie was not the only one with a plan for tonight. Soon, the dress was removed and Chrisjen stood there in her stays and underwear.

After one last kiss to the back of her neck, circled to face Chrisjen, who had her eyes closed, as her breasts strained against her stays with her breath. Bobbie placed open mouth kisses on the top of each breast and then kissed her way upward until she came a jagged red line across her collarbone. “Bastard,” she whispered before kissed it.

“I took care of him. Now hurry up and fucking undress me before the water gets cold.”

Bobbie rolled her eyes and purposefully kissed her again before turning her attention to unlacing Chrisjen’s stays as she divested herself of the rest of her clothing. And fuck, she was beautiful. Time and child bearing had left marks on her body but did not diminish her. Bobbie ran a hand slowly from the hollow between her breasts to her belly button.

Taking advantage of Bobbie’s distraction, Chrisjen untied her robe’s sash and pushed it off of Bobbie’s shoulders. Her hands were cold on Bobbie’s stomach and she gasped when she saw the newest of Bobbie’s scars snaking across her torso. “Oh, Bobbie,” she sighed as she ran her fingers along it. “Does it hurt?”

“Not any more. C’mon. You were worried about the water temperature.” Bobbie took Chrisjen’s hand and led her the bath and both climbed in. It was large enough to accommodate both of them but they had to adjust their legs so both could sit comfortably. Bobbie sank into the water’s heat and closed her eyes, feeling her muscles slowly release the tension of the last weeks. She was grateful Chrisjen allowed her this small moment to enjoy the sensation of the water on her skin and Chrisjen’s legs resting against hers.

Of course, Chrisjen had only limited patience. Bobbie smirked as the other woman made her way over and settled herself in Bobbie’s lap. Chrisjen kissed her insistently as she ran her hands up Bobbie’s stomach and cupped her breasts. Bobbie moaned as her hips rolled against Chrisjen’s legs. Chrisjen broke the kiss and trailed kisses down Bobbie’s neck and shoulder.

Bobbie wound a hand in Chrisjen’s hair and pulled her closer. When Chrisjen kissed her again, Bobbie nipped at her lips before opening her mouth and kissing her deeply. As she continued to kiss her, she caressed Chrisjen’s inner thigh. She smiled against Chrisjen’s lips as she began to rub herself against Bobbie’s hipbone.

Chrisjen pulled away from the kiss. “You’re fucking sure of yourself.”

Bobbie didn’t bother to reply but urged her upward and sucked a line down her breast until she took a nipple into her mouth. Chrisjen’s hips bucked as she let out a moan that felt like it traveled down Bobbie’s spine to between her legs. As she swiped the nipple with her tongue, Chrisjen’s head fell forward, hair raining down as she gripped the ledge of the bathtub with both hands. Bobbie repeated the same actions on the other breast. “Fuck, that feels good.” 

Bobbie ran a hand up Chrisjen’s inner thigh to her folds. She teased her with light touches, avoiding her clit until she hissed, “Goddamnit, Bobbie, stop fucking teasing.” She circled it, and found the pressure and motion that made Chrisjen cry out, inarticulate, her hips bucking.

When Chrisjen caught her breath, she placed kisses on the top of Bobbie’s head. “I want your fingers. Inside me.” And of course, she’d demand and command during sex, but for tonight, Bobbie was happy to grant this wish. Bobbie wrapped an arm around her waist and inserted first one finger, then two, crooking her fingers as they slipped in and out of Chrisjen. “Fuck, Bobbie,” Chrisjen said as she unwrapped one of her hands from the edge of the tub and brought it down to rub against her clit.

Bobbie watched as a flush grew across Chrisjen’s chest. As she rode Bobbie’s fingers, Bobbie added another, turning Chrisjen’s chant of fuck into a series of low moans. She watched Chrisjen’s face as she screwed her eyes closed, head thrown back, trying to chase another orgasm. Bobbie’s attention was captured by Chrisjen’s breasts and she captured a nipple in her mouth. As she ran her teeth against it, she felt Chrisjen spasm around her fingers. As Chrisjen took her hand away from herself to clutch Bobbie’s shoulder, Bobbie moved the heel of her hand to rub against her clit. Bobbie continued until Chrisjen slumped forward, resting her head on Bobbie’s shoulder.

Bobbie wrapped her arms around Chrisjen, holding her close as she felt her body twitch. Eventually, both women became aware of how cool the bath water had become. Bobbie helped Chrisjen, whose legs were still a bit rubbery, out of the bath and wrapped her in a towel. She kissed her forehead, her cheeks, her lips, until Chrisjen snuggled into her warmth.

“Marrying you was one of the best goddamn decisions of my life,” she muttered against Bobbie’s chest.

*

Chrisjen felt languid, loose and warm as she melted into Bobbie’s embrace. It had been too long since anyone besides her own hand had brought her pleasure. Not since Arjun - she mentally shook her head. She didn’t want to think about that. What she wanted was a bed she realized as she placed kisses against Bobbie’s chest and felt her shiver. A bed would be nice for her (lightly) aching knees, not that she’d admit that to Bobbie. 

“Let’s go to bed,” she said and felt Bobbie sigh in relief.

Once they made it to the bed, the journey interrupted by kisses and exploring hands, Chrisjen propped her head on hand and looked at Bobbie. She was gorgeous, long and lean and strong. She leaned down and kissed the hollow of her throat, moving up her neck, her chin, her lips. Bobbie wrapped her arms around her, pulling her closer. Chrisjen ran the back of her fingers across Bobbie’s cheek. “You look serious,” Bobbie observed. 

“I was just thinking how lucky I am that this work out so well for the both of us.” Feeling overwhelmingly tender, Chrisjen ran her fingers through Bobbie’s hair. “I was thinking about how beautiful you are. How good you are for me.” She kissed her. “How glad I am that you came back to me.”

Bobbie reached up and cupped Chrisjen’s cheek, rubbing her thumb along her cheekbone. “I love you, too.” Chrisjen nodded and turned her head to kiss Bobbie’s hand and then kissed her again. Chrisjen tangled her leg between Bobbie’s and Bobbie gasped, lifting her hips to rub herself against Chrisjen’s thigh. Chrisjen smirked and pressed her leg tighter against Bobbie and cupped Bobbie’s breast. She lowered her head and took the nipple of one in her mouth while roughly kneading the other one. She heard Bobbie’s breath catch as her hips sped up.

And maybe it was slightly evil of her, but Chrisjen had other plans. She moved her body lower, moving her leg away from Bobbie. Bobbie whimpered. Chrisjen removed her mouth from her breast. “Don’t worry,” she reassured and kissed and licked her way down Bobbie’s stomach, giving her fresh scar extra attention.

Bobbie curled her fingers in Chrisjen’s hair. “Please, Chrisjen,” she asked as she pushed her downward. Chrisjen would have teased Bobbie, if what she wanted hadn’t been something Chrisjen had fantasized about before falling asleep many nights during their separation. Chrisjen nipped Bobbie’s stomach before moving between her thighs.

Bobbie groaned and pulled at Chrisjen’s hair as she dragged her tongue along her folds. She continued, alternating between licking and sucking at them until Bobbie pulled her head upwards. When she swiped her clit with broad licks, Bobbie’s hips came off of the mattress. Chrisjen put her forearm over Bobbie’s hips, trying to hold them steady as she sucked it into her mouth, experimenting with pressures until she felt Bobbie’s thighs clench around her.

She inserted two fingers into Bobbie, pumping them in and out in time with the canting of her hips and crooked them in a come hither motion. She continued to lick at Bobbie, until she could no longer keep Bobbie hips on the bed. She could feel Bobbie tightening around her fingers, and finally sucked her clit sharply and Bobbie cried out loudly. Feeling smug, she continued until Bobbie moans and whimpers stopped, until Bobbie pushed at her shoulders and said, “No more, Chrisjen.”

Chrisjen placed one last kiss on the inside of Bobbie’s thigh before Bobbie pulled her up for a kiss, licking herself from Chrisjen’s lips. “That wasn’t how this was supposed to go,” Bobbie grumbled.

“But it was good,” Chrisjen responded.

Bobbie pulled her closer. “Very.” She yawned. “Fuck.”

Chrisjen smiled and snuggled into her shoulder. “You’ve had a very fucking long day and I’ve made it clear that no one should disturb us before the afternoon tomorrow.” She placed a kiss against Bobbie’s neck. “We have plenty of time.”

Bobbie was already nodding off. “Rest of our lives.”

Something about the way she said that made Chrisjen tear up. She was becoming too fucking sentimental in her old age. And yes, the ache between her legs told her she could come again, but that could wait until morning, she thought she drifted off into sleep.

*

Bobbie woke up when the sunlight streamed into the room. She looked over and found Chrisjen, still naked, reading something and eating a pastry. She reached out and ran her hand down Chrisjen’s side. “Where’d you get the food?”

Chrisjen smiled and put away her reading. “I had Aditi bring us breakfast.”

Bobbie reached out and stole the pastry. “Smart,” she said, devouring it. She had missed luxuries like pastries. Chrisjen actually had the temerity to be pouting at her. “I’ll make it up to you,” she said, kissing her.

Chrisjen climbed into her lap and wrapped her arms around Bobbie’s neck. “I do have something I need to talk to you about. I told you that I had found a temporary solution to the situation with the Outer Provinces and I have. There will be a summit with Earth, Mars and the Provinces, to determine their independence.”

Bobbie cocked her head. “That doesn’t sound fair to the Provinces, but I don’t know why you’re worried about me.”

“The summit will take place in Mars. I’ll have to travel there for several weeks at least. I’d like you to come with me, but I understand if you don’t want to.”

Bobbie couldn’t believe it. She’d get to go back home and see her family, her friends. “Of course, I want to go.”

Chrisjen looked at her with something close to sympathy. “You may find that Mars’ opinion has changed toward you drastically after you left. It may be home to you, but they might see you as an outsider. That could be painful, Bobbie.”

Bobbie didn’t want to think about that. “I still want to go.” She kissed her. “Besides, where you go, I will follow,” she said, quoting a popular Martian song.

Chrisjen smiled and kissed her.


End file.
